WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

[Quikngruvn]

Re: Reagan and fuzzy memories (including my own). The Reagan reference undoubtedly came from the Iran-Contra hearings from the mid-80's. Most times when he was asked about the events of the scandal, his response was along the lines of 'I do not recall.' 'Course, I was in middle school at the time, so I could be mistaken....

Quikngruvn

[Gryphin]

There was a time when he walked up to a live mike, (he thought was turned off and said something about startting to bomb the Rusians in 10 minutes.
Then again there is a theory his unpredictably behavior scared the Soviet Union into "surrender".

[Desdinova]

Bill Murray: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Platoon: Too get from the left to the right.
Stepped out of rank,
Got hit by a tank.
He aint a chicken no more, Sir!

[primitive]

One more before this thread sinks into the darknes where it belongs.

ARTHUR ANDERSEN CONSULTANT: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergy with an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

[Kamog]

Microsoft Chicken (TM) : It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.

Java Chicken : If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets!)

C Chicken : It crosses the road without looking both ways.

C++ Chicken : The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to him on the other side.

VB Chicken : USHighways!TheRoad.cross (aChicken)

OOP Chicken : It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

Assembler Chicken : First it builds the road ...

Delphi Chicken : The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

Web Chicken : Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

Gopher Chicken : Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.

Lotus Chicken : Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!

COBOL Chicken :
0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN
PERFORM
0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1
UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING

[couslee]

lol kamog. you shoud add Linux chicken (since these chicken threades always are somewhere

Linux chicken: it can't cross that kind of road, it need a port.

[ January 29, 2003, 07:44: Message edited by: couslee ]

[oleg]

Few more :

Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration,
as a chicken which has the daring and courage to
boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom
among them has the strength to contend with such a
paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the
princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its
pancreas.

Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
would let it take.

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road
gazes also across you.

Oliver North: National Security was at stake.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-
nature.

Salvador Dali: The Fish.

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from
the trees.

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

Epicurus: For fun.

Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored)
reason.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

The Sphinx: You tell me.

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Molly Yard: It was a hen!

Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.

Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.

The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.

Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.

Othello: Jealousy.

Mrs Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.

Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade
insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.

Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome,
filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume
to question the actions of one in all respects his
superior.

Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.

Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of
misplaced concreteness.

Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter)

Hamlet: That is not the question.

Donne: It crosseth for thee.

Constable: To get a better view.