The Funniest Canadian Joke.

[Wardad]

A guy is driving down a country road when he sees a sign, "Apples - $5.00 each." Intrigued to find out why an apple should cost that much, he stops and asks the farmer why the apples are so expensive.

The farmer says, "These are special peanut butter and jelly apples. Here, try one." The man takes a bite and says, "Unbelievable; I taste the peanut butter but not the jelly."
The farmer says, "Turn it around." He does and he savors a sweet jelly.

The farmer says, "I've got ham and cheese apples, too, but they're $10.00 each."
The man is excited, buys one, takes a bite and says, "Wow, these are great and I taste the ham, but not the cheese."
The farmer says, "Turn it around." He does, takes a bite and a rich, creamy cheese fills his mouth.

The farmer says, "Now, if you really like those, I've got some very special apples that cost $50.00 each. They're woman apples."
The man cannot resist and buys one. He takes a bite and says, "YUCK", these taste like crap!"

The farmer says, "Turn it around."

[tbontob]

I tend to like jokes which have a pun.

Here is an oldie...

A young man, who was learning to be a priest, was smitten by a beautiful young nun who attended Sunday services.

He approached the monseigneur and asked if it was all right to approach her and talk to her.

The monseigneur replied, "I don't see anything wrong with that. As long as you don't get into the habit."

[oleg]

Old joke that was _very_ popular in Russia half a year ago:
Man is kicking the magic lamp and scream: Jinni, you f... son of a b... !! When I asked that we play like France and Argentina THAT is not what I had in mind !!!

[tesco samoa]

Hello. I'm Anthony St. George on location here in Washington.

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry. I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron, but it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all, it's not like you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you, doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own. It would be like if, well, say you had ten times the television audeince we did and you flood our market with great shows, cheaper than we could produce. I know you'd never do that.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defence I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours. As word of apology, please accept all of our NHL teams which, one by one, are going out of business and moving to your fine country.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you want to have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

I'm sorry we burnt down your White House during the War of 1812. I see you've rebuilt it! It's very nice.

I'm sorry for Alan Thicke, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Loverboy, that song from Seriff that ends with a really high-pitched long note. Your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer, but we feel your pain.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. Because we've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

For 22 minutes, I'm Anthony St. George, and I'm sorry.

[DavidG]

Hillareous Tesco!!

[Fyron]

That gets an "n" on the meter.

[dogscoff]

nice one tesco