Still intriguing.
Want more!
--------------------------------------
No complaints about the substance but some about the grammar and spelling.
I'm swedish and we don't seperate words as much as the english language does, so some of these corrections might be wrong, there where more wordseperations aswell but I'm uncertain as to how it's handled in the english language.
Hey, I only know two languanges, english and swedish and I don't know any of them perfectly!
so some spelling suggestions are propably wroong, I'm quite uncertain about "aide" especially!
Anyway, the story is so good that I'd like the spelling errors corrected, the auto spellers suck!
If you want me to stop critizing say so and I'll happily oblige, but I'd appreciate if anyone checked my stories.
Ruatha
------------------
arms
out stretched
A space to much I think.
They dragged me onto the bridge and dropped me on the deck right in front of him as he sat in a command chair that look a lot like a
thrown.”
Should be throne.
of your life rotting away in the hell of my
dudgeons!”
dungeons
now sitting
cross legged on his
thrown.
crosslegged and throne
You
many win this war Devon
may
“You’re mad!” Hissed Tom as he quicky came to his feet and was stomach punched by the rifle butt of one of
his Alliance guards
Tom is allowed to bring his alliance guards with him??
and it drove him down on
one knee but he never took his eyes off of Gore
Hadn't he just drawn himself up to kneeing position?
by
slammed him face down
slamming
hand and started to slowly
stood
stand up perhaps?
regards to
you’re farther
your and father
and it hurt to
breath.
breathe ??
what was
no expected
now
Tom thought for moment, there was
something else,
some familiar now.
was it something or someone?
of the bridge
exists
exits
standing
out side watching as the great
outside
see Richard, his
aid, as he came
aide ???
just barely
out ran the bLast
outran
Re: Once Upon The Stars (Updated 07-04-04)
Hybrid Mode
