Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

Power Man · #1 April 27th, 2003, 02:37 AM

Wow Kamog got zapped by two people at one.
Double the ON----s Double the FUN !!

narf poit chez BOOM · #2 April 27th, 2003, 08:03 AM

would the room he fell in be the one i hid rotting O----s in?

Growltigger · #3 April 29th, 2003, 11:58 AM

A sudden hush echoes around the temprary cantina, the ground starts to shake, the air seems to crackle with electrical discharges.

An incandescent ball of light appears on the ceiling of the temporary cantina, lightning arcs out of the ball and earths on the cantina fittings, and on one particular helpless occassion, Taz's head...

Amid the caterwauling from the singed Tasmanian devil, the ball of fire suddenly expands like a nova, suddenly, a British red BT phone box drops out of the fire onto the cantina floor.

The ball of fire disappears, and the cantina is quiet save for the occassional crackle of electricity dissapating...

The BT phone box door opens.... an ethereal gospel choir kicks in with a ramped up Version of Mark Morrison's "Return of the Mack", except that in this Version, they appear to be singing "Return of the Cat"....

Growltigga, clad all in leather, steps out of the phone box. Two FBW's, clad in chain mail accessories and wearing about as much material as would cover a small saucepan lid, roll out a red carpet.

GT strides purposefully down the red carpet, which ends at the bar. The still smouldering Taz serves up his favourite "Spitfire" beer.

The great kat takes a healthy slug, looks around the temporary cantina, and sees that things are good.

The cat is back

dogscoff · #4 April 29th, 2003, 12:55 PM

Well, now that we are fully crewed, I suggest we take this Cantina for a spin. Someone cleverly outfitted it with engines, remember? I'm sure that mad stellar manipulation ship I sent out has created some "interesting" things for us to explore by now.

*dogscoff pushes a button, and treknical-looking consoles appear out of every table. Repetitive, quasi futuristic bleeps and pings sound through the room, and a huge viewscreen slides out to cover the wall opposite the bar.

Taz, standing behind the bar, dons a purple Whoopee Goldberg outfit complete with big purple hat, a FBW sticks a gherkin in her ear and sits down to look like Uhuru while everyone else stands/ sits Trek-like at their Posts looking intensely toward the view screen, which displays the newly-formed universe outside.

'scoff takes the "number 1" seat at a table next to 'Tig, who sits in the command chair, crossing his legs and looking pensive/ dramatic. A red-shirt ensign walks in and hands Captain 'Tig a pad to sign and a fresh pint, then collects some empty glasses before leaving the bridge.

"Right" says 'Tig "who fancies a bit of boldly going?" Everyone nods their approval.
"Very well: Engage!"

The Cantina streaks off into the proto-universe, who knows what adventures lie ahead?

[ April 29, 2003, 12:01: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

Growltigger · #5 April 30th, 2003, 01:17 AM

and will they involve hideous hordes of sex starved tribbles bent on galactic domination?

and has the USS Phong's Head been fitted with a hand brake? I always wanted to pull a U turn at warp 7..

and does my command chair have a big red shiny button that let's me shoot photon torpedoes?

and will the FBWs be wearing those great one piece outfits from the original series that ended abuot a inch below the belt line (and those knee boots)?

and we have Taz as Whoopi Goldberg, Scoffo as Ryker (what a pillock, me as Jean Luc Le Grand Chat.. who else will everyone be? (NB Ragnarok and/or Raging Deadstar are not allowed to be Deanna Troi)....

and do we get to sing "Startrekkin" all the time?

and will we be arrested for boldly going boldly wherre no bold man has boldly been before.. boldly? whilst boldly drinking and being in bold charge of a space cantina??

Bags the holodeck first for a quick knee trembler with the FBWs!!!!!!

dogscoff · #6 April 30th, 2003, 01:33 AM

And who is going to actually fly this thing, given that most of us are drunk most of the time anyway?

geoschmo · #7 April 29th, 2003, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dogscoff:
And who is going to actually fly this thing, given that most of us are drunk most of the time anyway?

Space is big. As long as we keep it under warp 2 and fly in a straight line it will be years before we bump into anything. Set the auto-pilot and party in ten forward!

Geo