Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

[dogscoff]

PPS does anyone have a problem if I appoint poor old Barry as our security officer?

I think Barry died in the Last Cantina. However...

*Dogscoff goes over to David Gervais' mini-cantina model, which happened to be one of Barry's favourite chew-toys. Extracting some dino-saliva, 'scoff immediately has the sample sent down to the cloning lab.

We'll have a T-Rex security officer for you in no time, Cap'n.

[geoschmo]

Oooo, can I be the crusty old Dr McCoy person? That way I can go around saying stuff like, "Damnit Tig, I'm a doctor, not a dinosaur cloning technician."

Geo

[Growltigger]

Cor, an effective and efficient first officer, just what I always wanted.....

Right, so we have me as Jean Luc Le Grand Chat (or Captain Slog)

Scoffo is Mr Scoffo to you, first officer extraordinaire and in no way to be compared to that daft fuzzy faced pillock Ryker who always stand like he is clenching an apple between his buttocks

Geo is Dr Geoschmo, a grumbling old miserable shindle shanked old tosspot who lives down in the sickbay and drinks Jack Daniels (I loved that line geo)

Taz is Whoopi Goldberg, with funny mediaval princess style conical hat on top of his furry head

we need a lot of other people......

Now, we need to get Lieutenant Uhuru (or, given her levels of alcohol consumption, Lieutenant U-hurrrrrrrrrghhuuuuurrrrrrrr-u) to contact Starfleet Command to find out what our orders are...

surely we are on some important galactic mission, surely our raison d'etre for galactic travel cannot be just to fly around, avoiding hitting things, drinking, partying and trying not to throw up on the main viewscreen...

Hey, anyone fancy trying to trap Rag's head in the sliding doors? anyone fancy a turbolift race down to the holodeck via ten forward and the massage parlour?

PS Captain Slog, stardate 14.09.29.04.2003 - note to first officer, any member of the crew pronouncing "Lieutenant" as "Lootenant" rather than the correct "Lefftenant" is to be severely beaten around the head with an oversized tricorder......

Ooohhh, I cannot wait to meet the Klingons

[ April 29, 2003, 14:12: Message edited by: growltigger ]

[Erax]

Captain, does this place have a Chief Engineer yet ?

I don't come around here a lot, I'm always down in Engineering (wherever that is) fixing the stuff someone broke. Which given current patronage, should be plenty.

But no Delco air filters on my face, please.

[Growltigger]

Erax, we dont have a chief engineer but I think that if you want that role, you need to be Scottish, or at least speak Portugeuse with a Scottish accent....

[Erax]

Won't your basic "Aye, Aye, Cap'n, but the engine's about had it" do ?

A Scot speaking Portuguese ? The only time I ever heard that he was saying something like "Nós perderr parra Costa Rrica. Que verrrgonia."

("We lost to Costa Rica. How shameful.")

[mlmbd]

Oh, a nice new place, to mess up!

mlmbd