Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

[Erax]

Originally posted by growltigger:
OK, you have got the job....

Wooohooo !! (tries to do a little dance, then remembers that Engineers Can't Dance). Chief Engineer Erax reporting for duty, Cap'n ! I'll be down in Engineering if ye need me.

Erax exits via the turbolift. A few minutes later his voice is heard on the intercom over the bar.

"Things are quiet down here. Taznan, send me a beer and a haggis sandwich".

[Katchoo]

Mr S'Katchoo enters the bridge wearing a crushed blue velvet tunic, black vinyl pants, and a pair of flip flops he purchased from a vendor on Deck 13. Overall the ensemble shows off his muscled physique quite smashingly.

The Vulcan (TM) Science Officer overlooks the Bridge with one eyebrow permenantly taped high on his forehead.

"Science Officer S'Katchoo reporting for duty, Captain."

[Power Man]

The screen is dark. The music starts out low. A dramatic Voice is heard.

Forums, the Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the Star Ship Phong's Head.
Its mission, To seek out, and "Boff" the cutest babes in the universe.
To see and taste what is "Brewing out there ", while not crashing into too many things.
To Boldly "go" were no one (primitive) has "Gone" before. (But watch out for the Tigger Lilies)

The music Swells DO WEE DA DA OOK OOK OOK…..
The Mighty Phong's Head Swooshes past the camera. (Just missing it by the way)

And now a word from Our Sponsor …….

AH Shucks, all of the good parts have already been taken. I do not want to just a poor Red Shirt.

I want to be The Weapon's Officer. I can deal out the "PUNishment" to our foe's.
And besides "some people" around here think I may be too violent.

[Growltigger]

Power Man, you can be weapons officer if you want (but I get to fire the photon torpedoes). Barry is the security officer and lives in cargo deck 4 (he is too big to fit on the bridge).....

Right, we need helmsmen, a communications officer (what did chekov used to do), a teleportation officer and a counsellor, oh and we need some boring straight laced nerd to be data (anyone seen Ragnarok?)

[Erax]

On the Old Series, Chekhov was the navigator, Sulu was the Helmsman. LaSalle (also known as The Crewman No One Remembers) was the navigator before Chekhov. Kyle was Transporter Chief. There was no weapons officer, Sulu controlled helm and weapons (he had the best job on the bridge, other than Captain).

[Growltigger]

OK, Power Man is weapons officer, which leaves us needing a navigator, a helmsman, a communications officer, a counsellor (who is going to wear a wig and the fake comedy breasts, and look strained every episode?), a transporter operator and an android.

Post 100 is fast approaching. Volunteers please.

PS hey do we also need a chef? I need to order the kitchen to prepare curry, chilli and sauerkraut and lots of fizzy beer in anticipation of our first mission

[ April 29, 2003, 18:00: Message edited by: growltigger ]

[Erax]

Hmmm... how about announcing "Anyone who comes in here without a proper job as an officer automatically becomes a red-shirt ensign" ?

That should get 'em to line up plenty fast.

Edit : take a look at this Trek link :

Trek Wars

[ April 29, 2003, 18:02: Message edited by: Erax ]