Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

[Katchoo]

Mr. S'Katchoo, having returned from his stay at the Betty Ford Clinic (aka Sickbay) enters the bridge just as the Captain begins issueing orders.

Captain: "..Sound red alert, bring the ship to battle stations, raise shields, charge phaser banks, load and arm all photon torpedoes, rig the shuttles as ground assault craft, arm all marines with ground attack weaponry and make sure the "planet buster" bombs are ready for launch.."

Mr. S'Katchoo gives the Captain a raised eyebrow. Shields?..Phaser banks?..Photon torpedoes?..Shuttles?..Marines?..Planet buster bombs? What does this Captain think this ship is? The Death Star?

But..the Captain wants "action", so i'll give it to him, muses Mr. S'Katchoo.

Sitting down to his Science Station, Mr. S'Katchoo unlocks the bottom cabinet and takes out his Guitar. Finally, with the Planetary Speakers on full bLast, Mr. S'Katchoo begins playing:

"Get your ski's shined up,
Grab a stick of Juicy Fruit.
The taste is gonnnnna move ya!
Take a strip,
Pull it ouuuut.
The taste is gonna move it when ya pop it in your mouuuuuth!

Juicy Fruit,
it's gonnnnna move ya!
Juicy soft,
it gets right to ya!
Juicy Fruit,
The taste the taste the taste is gonnna move ya!"

Meanwhile, down on Fart Point, people all over cup their hands over their ears and scream in terror...