Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

[Gryphin]

Guys, I can't keep up. I just don't have time to make the quality of post I would want to. I'll pop in now and then.

[Taz-in-Space]

25 armored and fleet of foot Britney Spears and Shania Twain Clones immediately set out to capture and bring to bay the oncoming furball.

Seeing the amazons close in, Taz sends Narf back to warn Powerman and the rest of the away team.

As for himself, he figures that this might be a chance to 'get to the bottom of things'.

Taz hides his weapon and stops spinning. Giving friendly hugs all around, he says, "Take Taz to paradise.., err I mean your leader!"

[David E. Gervais]

I, walk into the dimly lit bar and instinctively go to my regular table by the fake window with the fake rain,.. "Taz I'll have a nice cool glass of JD on the rocks, and put it on RD's tab."

..aaaaah, feels good to take a moment to relax. I thought this place was lost, I missed the name change and wondered where all the people went.

Cheers!

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by growltigger:
Hmmmm, I guess a navigator is a bit of a luxory on this trip but when he re-surfaces, I nominate David Gervais as I think he could find his backside with both hands which is more than the rest of us, and as for a counsellor, I nominate Gryphin whenever he turns up to the party....

Hey David. This place is no longer just a cantina my pixel pushing friend. Where you are now sitting is the lounge on board the coveted TSSS Phongs Head. I suggest you read the past 5-6 pages and catch up on whats happening, Of course if theres no desire to naviagte Tigga's ship you can always join the Deadstar Continuum and help us irradicate the Galactic Federation, but if boldly going where no artist has went before, drinking new beer and finding luscious alien girls to bonk is more your thing, go with Growltigga!

[mac5732]

The Armored Spears and Twain Clones latch on to the one team member that appears to be some type of carnivorous whirlwind. They attach manacles to his frame and proceed to lead him back to the fortress for interrotation. The poor creatchers appears to be drooling and salivatating from his profucious openings as he regards his captors.

Meanwhile, back at the fortress, the sharp Wisen one, advises his planet security to release the new mutated Rat forms, the ones which carry Lexington IX's. The new transmorganizer ray weapons. They immediatly head towards the 2nd landing team member, the one in the strange looking power suit....

In addition, a smallish type hollow beam is inserted thru the screens and armor of the waiting ship, the special essance of methane squad quickly releases a new mixture of essance into the ship's quarters to record the reactions of those on board...

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by Raging Deadstar:
...but if boldly going where no artist has went before, drinking new beer and finding luscious alien girls to bonk is more your thing, go with Growltigga!

aaaah the grass is always greener in GT's camp...

I'm now setting a course to planet Minogue2 where we will all be able to take a tour of the Kylie Clone Factory. Once we get there, remember the red zone is for the imediate loading and unloading of Kylie Clones only, Please keep on the yellow path through the factory.

I have a nifty new gadget to help me navigate, it's called a 'Warp-Point Generator Mark-V' It allows me to open a warp point to anywhere in the known universe. (I would have purchased a Mark-X but that model opens a warp-point to anywhere in the UnKnown Universe [and randomly at that] So the Mark-V is much safer for a rookie navigator like myself

Cheers!

[Growltigger]

The camera pans over an orbital view of the swirling methane clouds of Anus IV. The camera pans out to reveal the sleek but battered lines of the TSSS Phong's Head, navigation lights twinkling in the darkness of space.

Captain Slog stardate 13.54 GMT, the facade of the TSSS Phong's Head being a rustbucket has gone on long enough, we are at battle stations, it is time to de-cloak and reveal our true selves...

Space shimmers and the TSSS Phong's Head is now revealed as the most be-weaponed, tough, vicious and all-out nastiest starcruiser in the history (or future) of galactic warfare.. the "go-faster stripes", fluffy dice hanging off the nacelles and quad exhausts just go to highlight the multiple turrets and launchers....... and the flashing lights of the disco kicking off in Ten Forward

Captain to Lieutenant Commander Power Man, good man, flattery gets you everywhere, keep up the good work. We need to get to the bottom of the mystery of Fart Point. I suspect collusion from the evil Dead Star Continuumumumumu......

Power Man, try and find out what has happended to the other members of the away team... I am aware that Guinan, I mean Taz has been kidnapped, and we are currently checking the starship for intruders as Mr S'Katchoo has obviously been interfered with (and wont stop grinning anyhow).....

Where is my first officer? I need him to hold the fort whilst I launch a counter strike against the nasty old bugger in his fortress......

Security, assemble the martial horde of Salma Hayek and Liv Tyler lookalike security personell, make sure they are armed "for bear" and meet me in the transporter room...

Captain Growltigga puts on his super-duper impregnable powered armour suite, and grabs his trusty cricket bat which doubles as a phaser cannon....

Suddenly, alarms go off round the ship "Awooga Awooga, small hollow beam trying to stick methane into the TSSS Phong's Head". GT and the security force charge to wear the beam has struck, and using the beam as ingress, transport into the mountain fortress of the evil Mac....

The Federation assault company materialises in a strange dark undergorund auditorium. Mac is sitting in his command chair in front of a circle of sand, kind of like the bullfighting arena at Ronda........

Mac panics when he sees the Federation troops and the mighty Growltigga.. He hits the sprinkler system which turns the sand into a sea of mud..... he calls for reinforcements and a horde of Liz Hurley, Britney Spears and Shania Twain clones rush into the auditorium......

Growltigga sees his moment, and orders his troops to charge..... the camera pans back (kind of like that bit in the Fellowship of the Ring when the goblins are chasing the fellowship in Moria) as the legions of Liz Hurley, Shania Twain, Britney Spears, Salma Hayek and Liv Tyler lookalikes charge towards each other screaming and yelling through the mud...

Growltigga also seees his moment and pulls out a disrupt-o bomb. This explodes with the effect of disintegrating all the weaponry and clothing the girls have.....

"So" Growltigga says as he sidles up to Mac, "what we have is about 2,000 assorted beauties rolling about in mud wrestling with each other and all stark naked"...."Yep" says Mac

"Damn good isn't it" says Growltigga, "this is why I joined Starfleet"

The chaps gaze on silently at the truly beautiful sight in front of them......