Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

[Growltigger]

Captain Growltigga to Brigadier General Imperator of the Universe and Il Duce of the Galaxy Power Man. You can have all the promotions you want... if you see that mayor, tell him to come on down to Mac's cavern, the view down here is just fantastic...

and as for violence, how on earth could any red-blooded male consider brawling with his enemies when he is viewing Salma Hayek holding Britney Spears in a half nelson, whilst Shania Twain and Liv Tyler and entwined in what I think is a old phoenician wrestling hold and Liz Hurley is rubbing her inner thighs where Liv Tyler kicked her.... and all this repeated about 400 times.....

Mac and me are enjoying a moment of entente cordial..... as well as a couple of good brewskis...

Growltigga to Phong's Head, stand down from red alert, go to yellow alert and send me down my video-recorder

[narf poit chez BOOM]

uh, taz did not kidnap me. he kidnapped one of my rats. narf, as i should have posted before, left the planet after selling all his pet rats. when he gets back he's going to be real mad about the mistreatment of his rats too. i mean, TRIBBLE WINGS? these are gentle pets! and turning some of them into geneticly engineered attack rats...

[Taz-in-Space]

...Watching from his cell overlooking Mac's auditorium, Taz has a ringside seat to Mac's & GT's Mud Fight of the Century!

Making good use of the cell's replicator, Taz creates a few boxes of popcorn, a couple bottles of liquid refreshment, a pair of high power binoculars, and a stereo set playing the Rocky III theme song. (Unfortunately he shorts out the unit trying to replicate a sofa )

Nothing better then being there while history is being made!

when he gets back he's going to be real mad about the mistreatment of his rats too. i mean, TRIBBLE WINGS? these are gentle pets! and turning some of them into geneticly engineered attack rats...

Now wait a sec. At no time, while filming this episode, has Taz harmed a single animal. Taz merely converted their allegiance -
See? No worse than your average politician.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

taz will get one whack, then

[Growltigger]

Growltigga and Mac whisper to each other for a few moments, before nodding and reaching agreement.

With a flamboyant wave, Mac triggers again the sprinkler system and turns on a supersized stereo with some cool flamenco and salsa tunes on it....

The mud is washed off the brawling horde of beeeeyewwwwwtiful young ladies as they continue to scrap in the wet....

Mac and Growltigga turn to each other and shake hands, a treaty is reached and the Galactic Federation, and Mac, Galactic Overlord of Fart Point are now the best of chums......

Now all we need is a triumphal party, we have the music, we, ahem, have dancing partners..., we have a planet full of top booze, thanks to Taz and Narf we have stacks of kentucky fried rodent, we have managed to lose that daft first officer of mine, Mr Ryker, I mean Mr Dogscoff, what else could we possibly need?

[dogscoff]

we have a planet full of top booze, thanks to Taz and Narf we have stacks of kentucky fried rodent, we have managed to lose that daft first officer of mine, Mr Ryker, I mean Mr Dogscoff, what else could we possibly need?

Dogscoff, suddenly and temporarily recovered, teleports in with a crate of "stayalert" stimulant pills and a bucket of viagra.

[Growltigger]

Captain Growltigga activates his teleportation redirection field... Commander Dogscoff is immediately redirected to the Fart Point Homes for Aging Ladies of the Night.....

The said ladies, deprived of any, ahem, business for quite a while and suffering from several years of sensory deprivation, are duped into believing that Commander Dogscoff is actually a good looking chap clutching a large amount of viagra....

Camera fades to ending credits for Episode 1 Encounter at Fart Point amid the sounds of Commander Dogscoff being pounced upon by some right old minging boilers!!

What's the next episode "No loo roll - the TSSS PHong's Head encounters the Klingons"?