Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

[Kamog]

After three days of unconsciousness, Kamog wakes up... the Last thing he remembers is being beaten up by a bearded FBW in 10 Forward.

Where am I?

Kamog goes to a computer panel on the wall. "Computer, what is my location?"
Computer: "Lieutenant Kamog is not on the ship."

Checking his communicator, Kamog notices that there is an order from the Captain. "What, I'm supposed to cover myself in Hollandaise sauce, don't wear a uniform, and go to cargo bay 1? ...Okie Dokie..."

Taking off his uniform, Kamog notices that it's not his usual uniform that he was wearing. It has a weird sash and instead of the familar TSSS logo there's a strange inverted-V type of logo. Also, he notices that he's grown a beard.

"Now, where can I get some Hollandaise sauce?" Unfortunately, Kamog is totally disoriented and has no clue where he is. He goes to a nearby door and opens it. It looks like somebody's quarters. Fortunately, there's a replicator in the dining area. "Computer, bottle of Hollandaise sauce, please". There's a brief shimmer of light and a bottle appears. Taking the bottle, Kamog starts applying some sauce to himself, but then stops.

"Hmm, it's no fun putting this sauce on myself. It will be a lot nicer to have a cute FBW put the sauce on for me. Maybe I can then put some sauce on her... "

Carrying the bottle in one hand and his uniform in the other, Kamog goes out into the hall. "Uh, oh, I just remembered I'm not in the best of relations with the FBW's lately. I really shouldn't have pulled on her beard. I know! I'll go to the holodeck and get a holo-FBW to do it."

Walking down the hall, Kamog notices somebody walking towards his direction. "Uh, oh, it's the Kylie Clone FBW!" Not wanting another painful confrontation, Kamog quickly opens a hatch, dives into a narrow service duct, and crawls away.