Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

Katchoo · #1 June 3rd, 2003, 05:49 AM

Speaking of sphincters (!) check -> This Site Out

Be sure to listen to the jingle

Kamog · #2 June 3rd, 2003, 06:23 AM

Uh-oh, did somebody mention the o-word in the ingredients of Dave's Insanity Sauce?

Kamog goes to Ten Forward to try some of the hot sauce on tribble wings...

Growltigger · #3 June 3rd, 2003, 09:38 AM

Awooga Awooga Awooga Awoooga

The proximity alarm screams as the Captain runs from his ready room onto the bridge.

Shields up, charge phaser banks, go to red alert. Mr Power Man report.

Captain, out of nowhere, a large number of asteroid side vegetables have appeared in space right in front of us. I suspect someone mentioned the "o-word" aboard the ship....

Mr Power Man, launch photon torpedoes and destroy those vegetables...

and can someone tell me why I heard a banjo sounding from the sick bay, and our doctor saying "dammit, I'm a doctor, not an inbreeding specialist"

Erax · #4 June 3rd, 2003, 03:51 PM

"Chief Engineer Erax, who is your loyalty to? I also want access codes to Jean Luc Le Grand Chats log, i believe you have something that could help me?And is it true you're having an affair with Kamog down here...? "

Erax valiantly tries to resist, although the flashing lights are worse than the time he turned on Katchoo's disco simulation in the Holodeck by mistake. In desperation, he concentrates on the first thing he can think of.

"If we... integrate dee-theta from zero to theta... that is equal to MCp over UA times dt over T minus t... integrated from t1 to t2... which comes out to... theta equals..."

The flashing lights grow dim and then go off. Erax has put the probe droid to sleep ! He tries to drag the chair he is tied to, but it's bolted in place. Fortunately, the droid forgot to remove the tools from his back pockets. A few minutes of sawing at his bonds with a pocket knife and he is free. He quickly stabs the intercom.

"Engineering to Bridge, we have an intruder aboard ! Send security doon here immediately !"

Not wanting to be around when the red-shirt ensigns arrive and start shooting, Erax quickly leaves Engineering.

[ June 06, 2003, 15:00: Message edited by: Chief Engineer Erax ]

Growltigger · #5 June 3rd, 2003, 05:04 PM

Captain to Erax, my nastiest, most vicious, evil minded sadistic violent and extremely attractive Liv Tyler clone space marines are on their way down...

Each of them is wearing a very tight red shirt indeed!

I would stay and enjoy the view if I were you.

PS but actually, if YOU ARE having an affair with Kamog down there, please dont hang around - leave's more red blooded totty for us real men

[ June 03, 2003, 16:08: Message edited by: Captain Jean Luc Le Grand Chat ]

Erax · #6 June 3rd, 2003, 06:05 PM

Acting on the Captain's advice, Erax hides behind a control panel, just as the probe droid begins to stir. It gets up and begins to scan the area just as the space marine squad arrives. Having been discovered, it sprouts several arms, each of them equipped with a different deadly-looking weapon.

The Liv Tyler clone space marines quickly damage, disable and dismantle the droid with a series of awesome space karate, space kung fu and space aikido moves.

Erax downloads the whole scene (filmed from several angles) from the security camera network into an engineering tricorder and leaves via a side exit.

"Engineering to Ten Forward. Lieutenant Kamog, there's some cleanup work fer you doon here. I'll be wi' ye later, I have, um, some things to take care of."

Growltigger · #7 June 3rd, 2003, 06:49 PM

So Chief Engineer Erax, I think the crew of the TSSS Phong's HEad have the right to know whether or not it is true that you and Kamog have been, ahem, having a few "intimate moments" together.....

Damn, we are being distracted from the prime mission which is to recover Mr S'Katchoo's brain (awww, wont a butternut squash from Taz's kitchen due the same thing?)..

Captain to Mr Power Man, if you have finished vapourises those vegetables, please set a course to chase that alien ship at warp 9.

Captain Slog, stardate 17.51 GMT - I must catch up and subdue that alien ship. No alien must be allowed to board a Galactic Federation Starship and steal the organs of its senior officers. And anyway, no good looking peice of tail should be able to get on this ship without least one of us getting hot and sweaty with it! if Starfleet find out about this, we will be the laughing stock of the fleet!