Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

Growltigger · #1 June 6th, 2003, 09:55 AM

Captain Slog, stardate 08.54 GMT, my brave away party are assembled in the transporter room. It does my heart proud to see the chaps standing there ready for anything and as focussed as a kittne in a feather factory. Whatever happens to us on the planet, I know that the honor of the Galactic Federation will be upheld. I am impressed at their ingenuity, my engineer has even bought a bunch of flowers in case the mysterious young totty who stole S'Katchoo's brain can be wooed that way. Nice touch..

Mr Transporter operator, beam us down.

The away team appear on a frozen, miserable looking rocky landscape, half in shadow and looking as forlorn as the Last puppy in the shop window.

Mr Power Man, please give us bearing to those life signs you discovered earlier on. Commander Dogscoff, please take tricorder readings of our immediate surroundings.

Mr Power Man, please ensure that the TSSS Phong's Head is at red aler and is ready for full planetary assault mode. I want a phaser strike on a second's notice should any horrible vanesa feltz clone thingies turn up...

dogscoff · #2 June 6th, 2003, 10:18 AM

*dogscoff, a trifle twitchy after staying awake all week with the aid of various stimulants in order to watch the four "alien" films back-to-back 16 times in a row, clamps a cigar in his teeth and takes some tricorder readings.

"Another goddamn bughunt..."

[ June 06, 2003, 09:19: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

Growltigger · #3 June 7th, 2003, 01:32 AM

Oh goody, we are playing space marines..

Look alive people, this is hostile territory and I want everybody watching each other's back at all times. Remember your training everybody and if you see any tentacled monstrousities, I expect you to blow them away before you ask questions..

Growltigga puts on his forage cap, spits on the floor and cocks his gun...

Right, Mr Dogscoff, tell us where we need to go so those alien bastards can come get some!

dogscoff · #4 June 7th, 2003, 01:52 AM

*Suddenly, dogscoff sees -or maybe hallucinates- something moving from the corner of his eye. He immediately starts indiscriminately spraying bullets and harsh language in all directions.

"GET SOME! GET SOME! GET SOME!"

Growltigger · #5 June 6th, 2003, 03:13 PM

The Captain fires up "Bertha" and lets loose a torrent of plasma bolts and whatever was moving...

"Yeee hawwwwww, eat hot plasma you muthersucking alien scum, this'll hurt, yeehawwwwwwwwwwwww"

Erax · #6 June 6th, 2003, 04:09 PM

Erax hits the deck, just in case 'all directions' means what I think it does.

He opens one of his pockets and pulls out a motion detector.

"Cap'n, whatever it was, it's stopped moving."

[ June 06, 2003, 15:09: Message edited by: Chief Engineer Erax ]

dogscoff · #7 June 6th, 2003, 04:44 PM

*dogscoff, breathing heavily, takes his finger off the trigger and allows the gun to spin down. The long barrel pings quietly as it cools.

Oh, I feel better for that. And it only cost us 3 ammo crates and a half-dozen redshirts. Let's get on with this mission shall we? Tricorder readings indicate a society of dirt-tech humanoids living on the surface, why don't we go see if they'll sell all their womenfolk in exchange for a bag of cheap pLastic jewelry and a nintendo gameboy.

Erax, have the crew back on the ship prepare the turbo-showers.