Bar Trek: The Next Generation. Episode 4: Sore Leave

Growltigger · #1 June 10th, 2003, 09:37 AM

Mr Power Man, change the frequency of the phasers so that they take out that shield without blowing the hell out of the bunker. Make it so.

On the bridge of the TSSS Phong's Head, Mr Power Man pulls out his mechano spanner and twiddles a nob under the phaser control board. He pushes the fire button and lo, the phasers take out the shield.

Captain Jean Luc Le Grand Chat, on point, sidles up to the door of the bunker and opens it, a long corridor heads off into the bowels of the planet, the away team sneak down it until they reach a sign that says "Medical lab and brain storage area this way, turn left after the harem".

Hmmm thinks the great cat, we may not find S'Katchoo's brain but it looks like we will have a good time!

Kamog · #2 June 12th, 2003, 08:06 AM

Meanwhile, back on the TSSS Phong's head...

Two big security guard ensigns (wearing red shirts) interrogate the captured alien in the brig.

Security guard: "Where have you taken Mr. S'Katchoo's brain? You will tell us now!"
Alien: "I'm not telling you anything!"

The security guard takes out an agonizer device which he got a from the evil mirror-image guys from Last episode, and tortures the alien...

Later:
Security guard: "Tell us, where is the brain?"
Alien: (crying) "Brain and brain, what is brain?"
Security guard: "What is underground, below the surface of the planet?"
Alien: "That's the buried city where the givers of pain and delight live..."
Security guard: "Givers of pain and delight?? Hmm, I better warn the landing party..."

dogscoff · #3 June 12th, 2003, 08:54 AM

*dogscoff stops firing to reload, and only then realises that the battle finished half an hour ago.

He looses off another couple of round and a grenade just to be on the safe side, then hurries to catch up with the rest of the away team.

Growltigger · #4 June 12th, 2003, 09:56 AM

The plucky away team sneak down the corridors of the underground city, they follow the signs to the harem the door of which is, unfortunately, locked.

"Taz, open this door" says the captain. Taz kicks into superwhirlwind speed and demolishes the door.

They look inside into a vision of Arabesque delights. A beautiful tiled room has a gentle fountain as its centre point and yes, louging around seductively on some divans are about 20 of the galaxy's most beautiful maidens, fortunately wearing enough clothing for say only about 2 girls. There is also a demur female Taz as well!

Growltigga starts frothing at the mouth and all that can be heard is the sound of ther away team's fly buttons pinging off the ceiling.

Is this just a distraction to keep our intrepid away team from S'Katchoo's brain. Will someone be able to override Captain Jean Luc le Grand Chat's hormones? What will happen next?

Raging Deadstar · #5 June 14th, 2003, 03:39 AM

*Senator Raging Deadstar smiles as his diVersion works, he types in a command from the Deadstar homeworld and waits as it is sent across many satellites to the room that The away team is found. A panel opens and a flawless duplicate of a earth pop singer named kylie minogue saunters out in the skimpiest lingerie and kisses Jean luc le Grand Chat and begins to beg him seductively for a night of passion*

Is Growltigga strong enough to overcome his hormones now?

Taz-in-Space · #6 June 15th, 2003, 06:00 AM

Taz notices his captain's plight and moves to block the view - only to be intercepted:

Can it be? Can this diabolical trap be the end of the away mission? Will the captain be overcome by his greatest weakness? Will Taz ever be able to break free?

Kamog · #7 June 15th, 2003, 07:27 AM

"We have to stay focused on our mission! Everyone, remember we are here to recover Mr. S'Katchoo's brain! Our duty is to -..."

At that moment, across on the other side of the fountain, Kamog catches a glimpse of the most beautiful girl he has ever seen. Kamog is tranfixed. She turns her face towards the door, and their eyes meet. It was like magic. Suddenly, time stood still. Mission, duty, responsibility - all these things faded away. The only thing that mattered was to be with her - and deep inside he knew it that it was right, that it was meant to be. The room, the other crewmembers, and everything else became a formless blur, as Kamog walked towards her, as if in a trance.

A thousand visions flash in Kamog's mind: romantic candlelight dinners, hiking in the mountains with her, going shopping together, quiet moonlit walks in the park, the wedding day, their first baby...

Looking into her eyes, Kamog hands her the bouquet of flowers, as she smiles radiantly. "I have been waiting a long time for you", she says, "and I have found you, and I will never let you go."