A War for the Stars

[Erax]

Looks good. I'd change a few minor things :

- I'd add a link to part II at the end of part I (page 4).

- The footnotes on page 2, part I are sort of silly, you can cut them out if you want (not the others).

- The Last note in the Appendix (month/tenth) is also not necessary, I'd remove it.

- One of the Posts in part II has a note at the bottom (2404.5, I think) which should be removed, it bears no relation to the story itself.

And two questions : part II will have no 'pages', it'll just be one long sequence ? Also, why not '(c) the author, used with permission' ?

[Erax]

Seeker I, Captain's log, SGY 2405.8:

The Yakrin colony ship had a two-tenths lead on us when we crossed the unexplored wormhole after it. We expected to find a newly-built colony in that system, but instead we arrived on the edge of a huge gravitational field. It turns out that this new system, which our charts name as Antmuel, contained nothing but a black hole and two other wormholes. The enemy ship was nowhere to be seen.

Fleet Command wasn't too happy with the news, but there was nothing we could do, and in the end they ordered us back to Loovria. The Fleet will cross the Last unexplored wormhole out from that system to check if there are any other Yakrin colonies in the region.

As to what happened to the Yakrin ship, I can only speculate. Most likely they were swallowed up by the Antmuel black hole, but it's also possible they made it through one of the other wormholes before we arrived on the scene. Personally, I'd say we haven't seen the Last of them yet.

[Atrocities]

I really enjoy reading this thread.

[Fyron]

- I'd add a link to part II at the end of part I (page 4).

The link at the beginning isn't enough? Will do.

- The footnotes on page 2, part I are sort of silly, you can cut them out if you want (not the others).

Ok.

- The Last note in the Appendix (month/tenth) is also not necessary, I'd remove it.

Ok.

- One of the Posts in part II has a note at the bottom (2404.5, I think) which should be removed, it bears no relation to the story itself.

Ok.

And two questions : part II will have no 'pages', it'll just be one long sequence ?

Actually, I had not added page breaks because I was testing just how much text I could put in each section. And then I went to bed.

Also, why not '(c) the author, used with permission' ?

I have not figured out where that text comes from.

Edit:
It is in the language files. I can make it say that in English, but not in the other Languages (as I do not know how to say that in them ).

[ August 08, 2003, 19:34: Message edited by: Imperator Fyron ]

[Fyron]

Update: With Matryx's help, the maximum length of the text field in the database is now 2^32 instead of 2^16. So, no more part II worries.

[BadAxe]

http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary

Main Entry: ge·nius
Pronunciation: 'jEn-y&s, 'jE-nE-&s
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural ge·nius·es or ge·nii /-nE-"I/
Etymology: Latin, tutelary spirit, natural inclinations, from gignere to beget
Date: 1513

To beget, I know what that is!

[narf poit chez BOOM]

missed that.

*gives BadAxe a medal*

mouse wants story.

[ September 02, 2003, 05:44: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]