(OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers

[Erax]

Since you mentioned feeling 'down' in the afternoon, it could just be your daily cycle. Sun Tzu wrote something about the army being ready to fight in the morning and useless by nightfall, so it's nothing new.

Regular physical activity will give you an extra 'zip' which Lasts the whole day, even during the down-part of your cycle (that's what's so great about it, you'll feel better even when not exercising).

Improving some aspect of your situation (making some friends, for example) will reduce frustration and help fight depression.

About the girl... you said she is a very social person, but I get the feeling she isn't dating anyone else. When you feel you are ready, you could begin by asking her just that - 'You have so many friends, how come you aren't dating anyone ?' It's a classic line, it gives her a pretty good idea of your intentions but it doesn't commit you to anything, and her answer will help you decide what to do next.

[minipol]

Hmm. That's a tough one. Getting yourself motivated is the clue. And to get yourself motivated you need to know exactly what you like to do. For instance, you like SEIV and what do we see? You spend a lot of time on this forum and you invest time to play the game. So obviously you're not amotivated or lazy because you do stuff but you probably only do stuff that you like. (who doesn't?)

Get some other interests, set some goals. Doesn't matter what. On the other side, it's kind of normal to feel "amotivated/'lazyness" when you're only 17. That's normal. I think nearly everybody went through that fase. Also, i even have that now and then.

And about girls, like you said, you're 17, you've got plenty of time.

Also, you seem like a person that analyzes a lot of stuff that happens around him. If that is the case, try to not over analyze stuff. Can really start to annoy you. I used to do that and even know and then i have to say: "minipol, stop processing those thoughts over and over and over again and DO something about it rather than thinking about it all the time".
It helps. Sometimes i have to use voilence to make my brain listen to me

[oleg]

Andrey, there should be a large Russian/Ukranian/Jew diaspora in Canada.
You can probably find few people with close mentality.
When I lived as a student in US, I had no problem
finding compatriot students !

Cheers, Oleg.

[Ruatha]

Ok, a tip from my wife the psychologist

Brainstorm what activities you can see yourself doing instead of sitting home doing nothing (well, almost nothing).
I e going to the cinema, library whatever.
Pick one of these activities that you feel is reasonable to to, then plan when you will do it.
For example, "I'm gonna see matrix reloaded, even if I'm going myself", "I'm gonna do it saturday evening" (preferabbly as soon as possible, for example tomorrow.
If you feel like it then ask someone if they want to accompany you but thats not mandatory.
What is mandatory is to do that thing when it is planned, no matter how tired/unmotivated you are.
Then when you come home you check what it was like. Was it better to go or would it have been better to stay home (Preferably you'll end up with - Better to have gone!). Then plan another activity, and so on.

The important part is to do first and feel later.
I e, "I don't feel like going to the cinema" (Crap!) -> Go to the cinema first and then feel if you felt like going after you've been there.

Post here and say how it goes, if you have to do that the chances of you doing it are bigger (or mail me if you don't wanna post public)

So you can post here (or mail);
Tomorrow, movie Matrix
and then the next day;
Went to Matrix, was fun, Tomorrow going biking with (the girl/friend).

[ May 23, 2003, 16:23: Message edited by: Ruatha ]

[Taera]

Erax: daily cycle? just as well possible. as for the girl, she isnt dating someone but she has a crush, as it seems, on that guy - some friend of a friend IIRC, from another province. complicates things doesnt it :-/ but yea she broke with her b/f some time ago

Minipol: im too inquisitive and investigative for my own good im trying to put myself into the "act" position tho.
as for amotivation, well, thats the first time in my life im suffering from it. what i mean is complete lack of wish to do anything. no, thats wrong. i _WANT_ to do something but cant get myself to.

Oleg: i dont get along too well with russians as it stands. israeli/russians (i mean, those who are both) have quite a different mentality. i will be though looking into that when a chance arises.

Ruatha: interesting idea, i might start doing it. as i said previously i dont commonly talk about myself too much but maybe. as for matrix i've seen that one, with the same girl what yes, there's the financial problems on my side. i cant burden my parents ATM and im only now starting to look for a job

One thing that stops me from doing some things is that i am not a loner... neither am i a crowd person. i simply cant make myself go somewhere alone, which is a bad thing i know. what i mean tho, i dont like to go outside on my own or go to movies on my own etc.

[oleg]

Originally posted by Taera:
Oleg: i dont get along too well with russians as it stands. israeli/russians (i mean, those who are both) have quite a different mentality. i will be though looking into that when a chance arises.

Are you sure ? I have two good friends emmigrated to Israel. I feel much more in common with them than with average "christian" russian. But it may be a generation gap. In fact, I'm pretty sad by all the corruption of money lust inflicted on the generation grown later. I can see that the young russian people you can meet are sons of "new russians" (bandits who ran the country now). Of course you can feel sick just talking with them

[Taera]

yes and no, most russians here are not from 'russia' but from southern countries like Kazahstan. While its okay i dont have anything in common with them. The 'real' russians are sons of 'new russians' tho. yes.