(OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers

[Taera]

im thinking. im yet to figure out a way for myself.

tbontob:
you are absolutely right, i have way too much spare time. this might be the reason, i agree.

and you are more right than you might want to have been. for one i have very critical parents. that says it all. as for standards, it seems that living in Canada affected these - all of Canadians are very successful at social lives and sports. My class of C.A.L.M (Carreer and Life Management) doesnt help there because the teacher builds up high standards for the class.

I do realize I need to reaffirm my self-confidence, and im looking for ways how.

Two more things that are not helping me at all - one, my family is facing some financial problems right now... meaning i cant realy do some things i would, like go to movies more. to add to this ive never had a job before - and now about to start looking for one. That will give me some money to spend... in the future.
Another issue ... i cant recall it, i will get back to it tomorrow.

Will:
your thoughts match mine, and thanks for the advice because you caused me to think it over.
i've been thinking of learning to play a guitar myself... or to play something! and art class... well, ill post my 2nd post following it, read it.

edit: nope, no 2nd post. frankly ive been considering taking art in my 12th grade myself. i guess ill do that, just because i always wanted an art class.

and will, you reminded me of one sport i always liked playing - tennis. i might try to find something here.

thanks a lot everyone.

[ May 27, 2003, 08:25: Message edited by: Taera ]

[narf poit chez BOOM]

i think a person should use criticism, if they do use it, constructivly. so, "doing this might be better" good. "what where you thinking" bad. sometimes, "do that to much more and bad things will happen" good to.

[dogscoff]

My class of C.A.L.M (Carreer and Life Management) doesnt help

Beware of any class that has a clever acronym for a title. When i was at school we had to endure "Skiils For Adolescents" classes. Take a look at the acronym. SFA. I kid you not. It was the most useless class ever, a kind of lame, directionless group counselling session with teachers that knew nothing about counselling and kids who just wanted to get the hell out of there.

(For the English=foreign language ppl here, SFA is a popular acronym for "Sweet F*** All", which you use when you want to imply "sitting around doing nothing")

As for the financial thing- yeah that can be an obstacle to broadening your experiences and enjoying a full social life. Do you have a job? Maybe you should get one, just a saturday job in a shop or something. You'd get some spending money and you'd get to meet ppl as well. It also helps overcome the amotivation because you have to show up for work whether you feel like it or not.
Finally a history of part time work while studying looks good when you leave school/ education and are looking to start a career.

[ May 27, 2003, 09:21: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Loser]

Originally posted by TerranC:
Drink Red Bull. No, seriously. Drink some kind of energy drink; it'll give you that itchy energy that you just wanna get rid of.

A stimulant is a stimulant. Caffeine, Nicotine, Ephedrine, Methamphetamine, whatever. Humanity needs to be more careful with these things. Yes, some of them are worse than others, some more addictive, more likely to make your heart stop, more likely to cause cancer, but ain't a one of them good for you.

That said, I'm currently using a stimulant nasal spray (one of those Generic Afrin types you can't use for more than three consecutive days) because it's cheap, it works (nose clear, breathing fine), and the A-FRICKIN'-LERT side effect is a help on this stupid shift. Use them? Fine, sure. But use them carefully.

One thing most people aren't aware of is that grapefruit juice changes the way just about any chemical interacts with the body. Some drugs get their primary effect strengthened, some weakened, some have a side effect blown way out of proportion. This was mentioned briefly in popular media about three years ago when doctors began to study whether drinking grapefruit juice was causing certain seniors to have adverse reactions to their medication (and they take so much, you know). It's not the vitamin C (which I'm sure one-out-of-three people reading this are thinking), it's something else.

In the case of most stimulants, grapefruit juice will lengthen the term of noticeable effect and also decrease the degree to which your body adjusts to the chemical. This is the case for all four stims I mentioned above. In this usage, sweetened grapefruit juice is just watering down the active ingredient: more bitter is more better.

If you are going to use stims, drink some grapefruit juice about ten minutes beforehand. If you want a nice mellow, constant stim don't touch caffeine. Go for nicotine patches. Buy the biggest ones possible and cut them into quarters. But be careful, because you will get addicted. (Never ever smoke while wearing the patch, not only will it put more nicotine in your system that you will like, but it will ruin the 'quit' potential of the patch.)

[tbontob]

Taera, whether you know it or not, you are on the right path.

You took the first step in acknowledging that you have a problem. A lot of people take years to take this step and many avoid it.

You took the second step in not keeping it a secret. That takes an enormous amount of courage. You deserve to pat yourself on the back.

You took the third step of asking for help. This too is courageous since advice comes in so many types and varieties and often there is no easy way to determine the meaningful from the less meaningful to the harmful. As a result you may feel confused and tossed about with all of it.

This may not make a lot of sense now, but in your dispair, you are being blessed.

Something deep in yourself (whether it be God, your inner self, your higher power, etc) is telling you that you need to examine something.

Only you can determine what that something is.

Only you can make the right choices when you discover what that something is.

Your parents have given you a foundation. It may be a good foundation and little work is required or it may require a lot of repair. In some cases the repairs may be so extensive that the original foundation may no longer be recognizable.

Critically examine everything, including what advice may come your way. Some things may not make sense. If they don't, consider throwing it into the back of your mind with the suggestion that the answer will come to you.

Be wary of giving up your right to choose to others. Making a mistake as a result of free choice is often preferable to making the right decision based on what someone has told you to do. Often the choices we make are the right choices for us. But even if a wrong choice is made, we can still learn from the mistake.

[tesco samoa]

You could always take a few months and work on a cruise ship.

[Ruatha]

Originally posted by Taera:
im thinking. im yet to figure out a way for myself.

According to a proffesional standing close to me.. You are hitting the right point here.
It's actually you who have to :

a. Define the problem, what it actually is.
-Is it that you have no motivation, then why?
-Is it that you are afraid to be alone, then why?
-Is it that you are afraid of rejection, then why?
-Is it that you don't want to assert yourself (please disease)?
etc...

b, Find a solution.
- What can you do to oppose your problem?
- What is feasible, what do you think is reasonable achivable?

c. Set goals, take it step by step but set goals and ACHIVE them.
-If you set a goal, for example; ask the first person on the classlist today what he/she is going to do this weekend and if possible ask if I can tag along, if not next day ask next person on class list... I'll start this tomorrow!
Then do it.
Then asses it, did it give anything positive? Did it improve my mood? Should I do it again?

(This is my interpretation of what my wife has said while cooking as I was talking to her then, I might have misunderstood something or misinterpreted but I belive in what I've written anyway).

Good luck in solving this yourself (I don't mean to be mean, but YOU are the only one who can help yourself, even if it is asking others for help. Then it is you who are doing something, i e asking for help.
But you need to define the problem better first before you can solve it.)

[ May 27, 2003, 23:07: Message edited by: Ruatha ]