Ye Olde Phong's Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth

dogscoff · #1 July 14th, 2003, 05:22 PM

dogscoff arrives in a toga. He has seaweed in his hair and beard, and clutches a big old trident. Taking a short break from his usual obsesseion of Greek mythology, (and fulfilling the old "lord of the sea" role for old times' sake) he has come as Poseidon, God of the oceans.

Anyone looking out te window will notice a 800ft long Kraaken by the name of Donogh parked at the rear.

'scoff has also brought his own entertainment in the form of 12 sirens, the beautiful sea-maidens who would lure sailors to a watery death with their irresistable singing voices (he also has a pair of ear-plugs). The sirens immediately start working their magic, and many cantina regulars begin trying to drown themselves in nearby bodies of liquid (drip trays, pints of beer, toilets etc.)

Growltigger · #2 July 14th, 2003, 05:33 PM

Growltigga, listening to the sounds of giggling and occasionally snorting from the pool room upstairs, tries to work out why Dogscoff has a thing about genetically enhanced super-squid with Celtic names.

Sheesh, couldn't he have named it "Stavros" in honour of the Greek theme. and hey, I guess calamari is on the menu tonight, anyone got anyone lemons, cornflour and an 800 foot wide frying pan?

OK, we have yodelling lovelies, kamikaze regulars sticking their heads in the fishtanks, we need some satyrs, centaurs, horses, vestal virgins, funny little bald fat men in togas making philosophical statements, plate throwing, dodgy resinated wine, chariot races, nude nymphs disporting themselves everywhere, really dodgy food, funny dancing and mad bazouki players...

OK, got all that...

Let's find out what was so mysterious about those Elysian mysteries!

geoschmo · #3 July 14th, 2003, 05:54 PM

Attention cantina guests, attention. To the owner of the giant wooden horse, license number ILUVHLN, you left your lights on.

Growltigger · #4 July 14th, 2003, 06:00 PM

Geo, now covered in feathers stuck to his taramasalata body-suit is hoiked back into the pool room by 3 rather pleasant feminine arms, lucky swine.....

OK, the bazouki player is really kicking off, come on chaps, line up and let's start with "Never on a Sunday"

Can someone get that centaur off Mac, he is too old for this cross-species stuff...

And who is that dressed as Poseidon? doesn't he know that that all that "Zeus-making-ladies-pregnant-whilst-manifested-as-a-golden-shower" was just make believe? oh god, he doesn't. Someone get a towel for the Nana Miskouri FBW!!

Yeehaw, and when do we get to recreate the sacking of Troy? bags be Achilles

geoschmo · #5 July 14th, 2003, 06:12 PM

Suddenly a distinctly feminine squeeling sound comes from the pool room as Lucy comes running out closely followed by Eddie, formerly known as Geo, chasing after her. "Mother!" he cried, "come back!" as they disapeared out the front door...

[ July 14, 2003, 17:14: Message edited by: geoschmo ]

Growltigger · #6 July 14th, 2003, 06:20 PM

Eh, Geo, what on earth is going on there (I havn't seen Charlies Angels II yet)?

Explain please

Dah dum dah dum daha dah dahahdahhdum dah dum dah dum etc

geoschmo · #7 July 14th, 2003, 06:26 PM

Sorry Gt. Just trying to get into the spirit of the Greek thing. I guess that one was a little too subtle. Nothing to do with the movie, I haven't seen either myself. Would it help if I change my name form Eddie to Geoedipus?

Just then a Galactic Express delivery man walks in the Cantina carrying a package.
"I have a delivery here for a Ms. Pandora." He sets it on the bar and leaves. Anyone inspecting the package will see it's clearly labeled: DO NOT OPEN

[ July 14, 2003, 18:02: Message edited by: geoschmo ]