Ye Olde Phong's Head Cantina and Bierkeller - The rebirth

[Growltigger]

Growltigga, slightly concussed and confused by repeated porcine assaults on his head by Dogscoff, drops his club and reaches for his red hot poker hand cannon, now cunningly modified to assist in the food fight by projecting high powered bLasts of appropriate condimnents for the said pork dish...

"OK Dogscoff, you want traditional, you have got traditional" a jet of apple sauce is shot into Dogscoff's face...

"You want Greek, you have got Greek", a second bLast of tzatziki hits the smelly Scoffo in the jaw,

"You want fusion, you have got fusion", a torrent of lemon grass scented black bean and ginger dressing blitzs the sticky Scoffo to the floor...

"Oh, and just for our teutonic chum, you want German, you get German" - Rollo is hit in the chin by a 5 kilo lump of semi digested sauerkraut and is catapulted through the wall of the cantina...

"Now, Brussel sprouts go nicely with pork" says the great kt as he attaches a 400 sprout hopper to the bottom of the cannon

[mac5732]

Erax, I'm happy to see you enjoying yourself in pie cuisine as Mac gives the order for more lemon cream pies to obsecure Erax's body frame from sight with more sticky, gooey, pies, whoossssssshhh

OT. GT, if you have the viking invasion for medevil, they have a Napoleon mod out for the game, everything is changed to the Napoleonic era, weapons, uniforms, guns, etc. you might want to ck it out

just some ideas Mac

[Growltigger]

Growltigga waves a hand at Mac to acknowledge that he does indeed have the Viking invasion expansion pack for Mediaval, thinks it is very good but is still wrapped up in an epic 30 year struggle against the wretched Turks. I am naturally playing the Byzantines (the Roman empire will never die) and the one problem with the expanded game is that the bloody crusades never seem to happen.

I dunno, you spend 10 years fighting savage battles in Lesser Armenia and Rum against the foul Seljuk horde (despoilers of churches, villages, small boys and goats), you are at an impasse, Pope Urban launches a cry for a few crusades to smite the infidel, you think "yippee, when the crusade bashes at the Turks, I shall launch a cunning assault against the knacked Seljuk legions and shall verily give them a good kicking" and do the crusades ever get launched?? no they dont, they are obviously too worried about the colour of the King of France's underwear, bloody Catholics...

Anyway, Rome: Total War, looks amazing, we have a TV show just started here utilising the game engine. The game looks absolutely marvellous and I cannot wait until April next year for that one...

Back to the cantina, GT loads his special "Duffer Seeking Venison and Herbs Gamey Sausage" into the hand cannon, aims it at Mac and launches... the sausage flies into the distance, loops round and hits the old timer right in the left ear....

Pulling out his trusty "Anti-South American Grilled Chicken Fajitas", GT loads that into the cannon and looks around for old Erax...

I go away for 3 weeks and that damn Brazilian lets the joint get into chapter 11! Never trust a Latin unless their names are Caesar or Shakira

[Erax]

Erax emerges from the back of the Cantina, after a quick shower to get rid of Mac's cream pies...

"Chapter 11 ? Isn't that the one in which Frodo and friends get chased out of Moria ?"

His mood for humor quickly evaporates as he sees that GT means business.

"Urk ! I mean, calm down Boss, here, have some of Rolo's mead, I think he left it here as a gift for you, just sit right there while the FBWs in maid outfits clean you off. I'll be with you soon, I have to take apart Mac's pieguns and troutguns."

Erax then vanishes somewhere behind the bar where he proceeds to look as busy and hardworking as possible.

[mac5732]

Mac calls over serveral LH clones and they begin prying the sausage out of his ear with prybars and giant tweezers.... Oucchhhhhh, ugh, after 15 minutes or so, the large meat monstrosity is finally removed from the lobes of the wizen old one. Mac notices GT over near Erax and firing sometype of malicious intensifying malignant weapon. The illustrious mental giant moves over to the wall behind him and presses a button, "POP" a secret door opens, Mac reaches inside and removes what appears to be a gas mask, puts it on then pulls out a multi barrelled constraption along with a large basket. Mac pours the contents into the metal monster, sights on old GT, pushes a button and "Poof, Poof.... and GT is swatted, knocked off his feat and buried under huge masses of large Trout from his Fyron lip smacking Trout cannon.... Mac smiles and waves at GT, who at this time is emitting a horrendous type of essance. (the trout were 2 weeks old )

GT watch for the horde if your playing Byzintine's

a wiley old Mac

[Growltigger]

Gt, suffering under a bombardment of putrid over-aged piscine thingies, pulls out his trusty tennis racket and proceeds to bat them off until the torrent stops coming.

Unfortunately, his tennis racket is now covered in smelly old fish entrails, and Erax is suitable upset as it is stuffed down the back of his troUsers...

This means war you old fart, says the mighty kat, he pulls out the hand cannon and attaches a hopper full of pickled eggs, pickled walnuts, pickled sheepballs and taramasalata, the LH clones dive for cover as the wretched spindle shaked old tosspot is bLasted into a morass of pink, picled and slightly fishy mess...

Gt walks over to the geriatic pile of puss and asks "when does the horde arrive and where then you old sod, I havn't seen the horde yet"

[mac5732]

The researchist smiles at GT as that entity has brought him some pickled cuisine for his gullet. As the cagey old youngster begins to fill his inniards, he replies to GT's question of the horde, look east el pussy kat, look east... they usually appear when you least expect it...

As the wiley one continues to indulge in a repast of pickled estacy, a sharp rumbling begins to make itself heard from within the old one's anatamy, "oh oh, he mumbles to himself, he looks and smiles at the Golden Kat standing before him and with his left hand places his gas mask back upon his wizened countenance.......

just some ideas

[ September 25, 2003, 03:04: Message edited by: mac5732 ]

[Teal_Avenger]

Looking for a spot of potted meat and an ale, The Teal Avenger walks thtough the door of the oddly-named establishment.

Perhaps this was not the best night to wear the dress teals.

At least it smells good.

[dogscoff]

For your enjoyment:
http://www.thrudthebarbarian.com/Aliens.html

And to deter anyone who thought we needed a plot around here...

[Growltigger]

Classic "Thrud" that...

Thanks Mac, the bloody horde has just turned up in Georgia and Khazak. Just what I needed on my left flank. Thanks a lot you miserable old [insert string of expletives of choice] so-and-so, thanks a bundle, I bet you had something to do with it too.. snick'n frakk'n rick'n rakk'n

Right, I am right royally narked. GT reloads the red hot poker hand cannon with its rightful steaming ammunition and looks around. Hmmm, Teal Avenger is new blood, bend over sonny and let uncle Growltigger show you a hot time...