(OT) tips for moving to keep your movers happy.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

It is wise to empty your waterbed beforehand.

we've got a twelve. um, please number them, people?

[Jack Simth]

27. Be willing and able to give the gas money you offer.

[Kamog]

28. Don't insult your helpers: i.e. "Can't you lift that by yourself?"
29. Empty out your dressers and filing cabinets and pack the contents in boxes. Don't try to move them with stuff in them.
30. Don't buy those converting armchairs that expand into beds. Those things are very heavy and hard to carry up and down stairs.
31. Don't buy those old heavy big-screen TV's that weight a ton.
32. If you have one of those workshop organizer boxes with all the little pLastic drawers full of screws and little parts, secure the drawers shut with tape.
33. Don't have little dogs or little kids running about when you're carrying heavy objects.
34. Make sure you have the keys to the garage, storage shed, etc BEFORE you get there.

[Kamog]

35. Actually do some of the work yourself. Don't just stand around bossing everyone around telling them what to do.

[dogscoff]

-To get the job done quicker, motivate your movers with a cat 'o nine tails or cattle prod.

-You break my wardrobe, I break your legs.

-Make sure the first things that get moved are your most comfortable chair and a fridge full of beer, so that you can sit in comfort and gloat as the poor saps drag your housebrick collection up three flights of stairs.

-Reclaim petrol money by charging them for imaginary breakages.

...uncomfortable pause...

What? Why are you all looking at me like that?

[primitive]

Here are some tips which will improve your chances to NOT get "volunteered" when your friends move houses.

- Always be late, chances are good the heavy stuff are already lifted. Keep records of your excuses.
- Break something. Getting a reputation for slippery fingers is always good.
- Complain a lot. Back pains are a winner.
- Eat all the pizza.
- Blood is your friend. If you get a nip, be sure to strategically place blood marks all over before you notice.
- Do the plant. A strategically planted set of handcuffs and a dildo for female friends or a gay porn magazine for your male friends are the best way to make them hire professional movers the next time. Do not do this on couples, you don’t want them to break up and move again.

[dogscoff]

Primitive: Excellent. I like the way you think.