October 14th, 2003, 05:14 AM
|
 |
Major General
|
|
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 2,174
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
|
|
Re: 12hr Game Story
Quote:
Originally posted by Cyrien:
Please pick them apart freely. I want to try and develop them as much as possible. Finding flaws or making suggestions would be quite helpfull.
|
All right, you did ask for it....
Let me get this straight -
you have a great number of creatures that, from hatching to death, need nothing beyond sunlight; at hatching, they need only their parent and the surrounding planetary material (ice, mostly). There are no predators, and no reason to prey upon themselves
- these plants needed mobility because __________________________________________
- these mobile plants needed an IQ because __________________________________________
- these mobile intelligent plants needed a society because __________________________________________
Order is unimportant on those - perhaps IQ came before mobility, for example - but there needs to be something to fill in the blanks; there is very little which will go to the work of improving itself without good reason to do so, and you don't seem to be referencing a Creator here.
__________________
Of course, by the time I finish this post, it will already be obsolete. C'est la vie.
|
Threaded Mode