The Grudge-Match of Doom - (trashtalk/game progress)

[Alneyan]

Why, you have my word as a fiendish Dark Elf that I merely spoke the truth Slynky, and used the best unbiased information I could find. As if spies would actually tamper with deceit!

My browser still censures your pictures Slynky, so I will deny having seen it, which will spare me some embarrassment. Therefore, I shall make no formal comment on this perfidy, and will instead gently ask Slynky to put his head on a silver plater if he doesn't want to face the fate Primitive has depicted a few Posts ago. But why do I have the nagging feeling this meagre request will not exactly be enough, and will only succeed in provoking laughter?

[Slynky]

Tsk, tsk...

You guys should finish your discussions about the fastest way to get the Talisman and upload your empire files...

[Alneyan]

The Byzantine Conspiracy: A Unique Hindsight Regarding the Grudge-Match of Doom, and the Various Crafty Schemes Used Therein.

Diary enter number 1: first turn.

Dear diary,
Since diplomacy can be such a wondrous tool, the following Messages were sent this turn to all my "friends":
- To Primitive: Truth be told, I reckon you to be able to do an outstanding job at handling this small matter. Therefore, I shall entrust you with the full command of both our Empires, your Lordship, for I shall attend a three-month long educational course on "Pedicure and Proper Health Care of Scales" at the other side of the galaxy. You approved of this initiative, given the benefits for your person, my Liege.

With all due respect,
Your but humble servant, Alneyan.

- To Slynky: When all is said and done, I cannot help but wondering at what your ally can do. I had half a mind to challenge him to beat Primitive the Undaunted, while neither your Empire nor mine would interfere. We are friends after all, so why should we lock sabres over such a trifling matter as a few grudges? Therefore, my proposal shall be as follow: we are to make a strategical withdrawal to a place of interest (such as the Tattoos thread), while Primitive and Mark fights it out.

I am looking forward to hearing from you,
Your friend, Alneyan.

- To the attention of the Earl Mark of (Somewhere in England, a place to your liking)
It is my hope that the present missive will find out in good health. Alas, I do not bear good tidings for your ears. Indeed, your ally has been having a dubious demeanour of late, as he made an opening hinting at betrayal. I do believe he is secretly supporting Primitive even while he pledged you his support. Thus he aims at grasping power for himself, as he is wont to do, another kingmaker if you will. I urge you to remain wary of his actions, lest he should betray you and give you over to your foe, the Usurpator Primitive.

With my best wishes for the future,
Your trusted councillor, Alneyan.

- To myself: I ought to keep Primitive under check, as he may very well attempt to cross me, his closest ally in this hour of dire need. Therefore, I shall keep a taskforce ready to remove him from power if needed be. Better safe than sorry, as the saying goes, and you want to remain very cautious with such a partner.

- To my second self: My first self is not to be trusted any more with my secrets. I shall terminate this identity at the earliest convenience, or otherwise I might betray myself. "Paranoia at its finest" is the motto of the Ilythiiri Hegemony after all, and I shall live up to this standard of trust, sincerity and nobility.

[Slynky]

Communique: Lord Merciful
Classification: Top Secret
Subject: Intel

Start Transmission:

Lord Merciful, we have encountered a ship of the Primitive! It is as we thought, a race without a technology that matches ours. Enclosed ship image:



End Transmission.

Communique: Lord Merciful
Classification: Top Secret
Subject: Intel

Start Transmisson (addendum):

Lord Merciful, we have managed with our hi-tech cameras, to capture a closer image of the enemy scout ship. Please notice the captain!

End Transmission.

Communique: Emperor Slynky
Classification: Top Secret
Subject: Outrageously doctored intel

Start Transmission:

You have far too much time on your hands.

Endit

[ June 07, 2004, 10:38: Message edited by: Mark the Merciful ]

[primitive]

Date 2400,9
Extract from the communication between the forward base in the Mentocka system and High Priest Primitive back in the devirginising chambers.

- We bare strange news o rancid one:
A race of incredibly ugly aliens have been encountered. They call themselves the Trithian empire, and claim to be technologically superior to us. Yet when we inspect the wreck of their "mighty" fighting ship we find that its of the smallest possible size (escort) and only has engines of the most basic design.

- Wreck, you say. Was there a battle ?

- Not as such, o ye of the foul breath. A colonizer met this anoying little bug at warppoint. The crash scratched the paint a bit, but else the ship is OK.

- The paint ? Not the beatifull custom red flame paint ? Arrrgh !! Exterminate the ugly bugs !!! Arrrgh !!1 *.@ 3$€ ..

..... Communication interrupted.

[Slynky]

What cheap scum uses mines (I lost a valuable ship)?

Oh, never mind...I use them, too