You Might Be A Red Neck Emperor If:

[Stone Mill]

53. Your tractor beam is powered by a labrador retreiver.

54. Your farmer tan is enhanced by multiple stars in your system.

(just adjusted the number)

[ June 03, 2004, 20:54: Message edited by: Atrocities ]

[Atrocities]

55. You have 300 ships orbiting your planet and none of them work.

56. If an offical military action involves stopping by the local Wal-Mart Planet to pick up shot gun shells and a case of beer.

57. If you consider new Star Ships of the line to be inferior to your rust bucket garbage scow because they have seat bealts for the captains chair.

58. If you believe dental hygen is for the weak races.

59. Your planets number one trade comodity is bull sh**.

60. If you Still Believe the South won the civil war way back on Earth in the yur'in 1969. ( )

[EvilGenius4ABetterTomorro]

61. If you actually call the Civil War "The War of Northern Aggression"

62. Your Queen/wife/sister yells from the balcony/porch/tailgate "DON'T YOU BUY NO UGLY FRIGATE NOW YUH HEAR!"

[Atrocities]

63. If in family marrage is a law in your empire.

64. If you or any member of your family has ever been on one of the following day time shows; Springer, Ohpra, Dr. Phil, etc

65. If you consider every defeat a victory so long as you got to shoot first.

66. If all the star charts in your space have bullet holes in them.

67. If all your planets still use dirt roads as major artierals.

68. If that shinny new Frigate you just bought is uglier than your wife/sister.

[Loser]

69. General supplies make sense to you: crew runs on whiskey, engines run on whiskey, guns run on whiskey.

70. Resupply Depot has been renamed The Still.

[Starhawk]

71. You invade a nearbye star cluster because they called your sister/wife a "dirty ho".

72. Although a planet is 100% safe from enemy attack is located right in the heart of your empire they rebel because they "Dun run clean outta whisky".

73. If when said rebellion is crushed for generations to come your empire refers to this time as "Still Wars".

74. You marry the prettiest woman in the whole empire........and she's your sister.

75. If said wife/sister is the prettiest woman in the whole empire because she actually had two teef and no liver spots.

76. Your first contact with an alien race starts with the line "Well ain't you the dangded ugliest little bugger i've ever dun seen." followed by shotgun bLasts...

[EvilGenius4ABetterTomorro]

77. The destroyer U.S.S. Billy Jack can kick your Red Neck Dreadnoughts ***.

78. Your space suit helmets are pointy on the top and have eye holes cut out.