Phong's Head Cantina [TM] - Starfury Sector (A Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy)

[Erax]

A large holoprojection takes shape high over the Bar/Grille area...

"Erax to Wounwort. Urgent news. The Starfury demo has been released. Repeat, the Starfury demo has been released. Over and ou---umphhhhh."

A large holo-projected cream pie hits Erax's holo-projected head as his image disappears...

[Suicide Junkie]

Originally posted by Atrocities:
Ladies and Gentalmen, Suicide Junkie, the head of the Governmental Propaganda machine has entered the Bar.

The "offical" government position on the EEE is that there are no EEE. However, the "REAL" position is they do not want to start a panic as the EEE are coming in force. A huge armada of a billion ships and over a trillion shock troops - blob like things.

Nothing to see here folks, move along.

Actually, I've been here for quite some time. My ship is still under repair, and I can't take off until at least two engines are running.

The EEE are not the problem, its the Space Monsters that are chasing the EEE that you need to worry about.
See the claw marks on that battlecruiser in the spacedock?

Besides, are you really more worried about a couple of EEE troopers, or the insidious infectious scourge of spacemonsters?
Beware! A Demon Egg could be waiting aboard your ship, undetected and ready to hatch.

[ September 22, 2003, 18:06: Message edited by: Suicide Junkie ]

[General Woundwort]

The fight at the original Phong's Head winds down in an ankle-deep layer of merangue. The fog screen fades as the customers return to their original activities.

Woundwort smiles as he counts his winnings. As usual, Growltigger was declared the winner, and several side-bets on the Boss have paid off. He hands the pile of gold-pressed latinum to the maitre 'droid. "You know what to do with this."

"H. Uppmann double coronas?"

"Good lad."

[General Woundwort]

Hmmm... lots of traffic out there now that the demo's out, but it's gotten quiet in here... Hey RD, think we should extend the traditional "Free Drinks" Grand Opening Offer (we'd put it on Rag's tab, of course... )?

[Renegade 13]

Originally posted by General Woundwort:
Hmmm... lots of traffic out there now that the demo's out, but it's gotten quiet in here... Hey RD, think we should extend the traditional "Free Drinks" Grand Opening Offer (we'd put it on Rag's tab, of course... )?

Renegade walks up to the entrance of the Cantina. Spotting the "Free Drinks" Grand Opening Offer billboard, he looks at the small print under the offer. "No responsiblity is assumed for any bodily or psychological damage to anyone, anytime, anywhere within these premisis".

Well, that's just fair.

He then spots the massive holographic projection showing this sign:

"PHONG'S HEAD CANTINA[TM] - STARFURY SECTOR (A WRETCHED HIVE OF SCUM AND VILLAINY: EVERYONE WELCOME"

Assuming this to be true, he slowly enters the Cantina.

Poking his third eye in the door first, he spots a floor spotted with mounds of merangue and other assorted foods.

He then spots yet another sign saying,

"All weapons must be checked at the door."

This is gonna take a while.

After finishing with the weapons check, he walks slowly up to the bartender and shouts out,

"Hey barkeep, can I have a Strangulated Supernova on the rocks. Oh, and by on the rocks I mean with a crushed up pebble or two mixed in."

Eyeing the floor covered in all manner of food and condoments, he thinks to himself,

What have I gotten myself into?

[ October 04, 2003, 14:51: Message edited by: Renegade 13 ]

[General Woundwort]

Woundwort walks out of his office on the third floor and notices the junk on the floor in the main room.

"SANCHO!!!"

The maitre d'roid rushes up. "Yes, sir?"

"What is all that stuff doing on the floor?!?"

"Oh. Uh... Waitaminute, I think I know. Someone must have disengaged the safety protocols on the holoprojector when we were broadcasting the food fight in the Home Cantina."

"Hrmph. Makes sense. Well, get it cleaned up immediately. Oh, and since Deadstar is the only other person here who could have changed the safety protocols, tell him I want to see him... NOW."

"Yessir."

Woundwort, watching the batch of janitorbots cleaning up the merangue, notices the new customer. He quickly takes the turbolift down to the main floor and walks over.

"Welcome to the Phong's Head, Renegade!"

[ October 04, 2003, 16:43: Message edited by: General Woundwort ]

[Raging Deadstar]

*Wanders in after a tough week of work, hoping for an easy shift. RD sits down in his office and knocks on the security system when suddenly a large message pops up on the screen*

"YOU ARE A WANTED MAN!!!!"



*Hearing the boss's footsteps coming closer he begins to devise a cunning plan... After all, RD didn't disable the security protocals!!*

"Hmm what to do *looks around nervously, eyeing the red hot poker cannon and renegades little stash of weapons that were confiscated* No No no can't do that, he pays my wages!!! Ummm...." *The footsteps get nearer, RD falls in to a natural state, his instinct taking over and quickly sends a message to the teleporter!*

*The Boss walks into the office*

"DEADSTAR!!!!!"

*Gulp, hear it goes*

"Ahh yes the security protocals, i certainly didn't change them. I've had a tough week bargaining with a Toydarian over a falty Engine for my own personal ship!! Dammit i need to extend my contract to use Droideka for personal use! Anyway, i have only two suggestions. *Italian Mafia Music* It could have been the Godfather Growltigger, or as my instinct suggests. It could have been Ragnarok for using his tab for free drinks. I will set the security on high alert for him if he ever turns up, and his punishment is your wish *whispers* though i do suggest i have some "influence" in your decision *evil laugh*"

*Suddenly the teleporter in the corner buzzes into life and Ragnarok is beamed in, complete with the bath tub he was using at them time, many of the regulars look away! Ragnarok doesn't notice he isn't in his bathroom and carries on singing something terrible by the beach boys or something!*

Shall we Interrorgate Boss?