Well I'm knocking on wood, but so far my battle replays show exactly what happened.
Since I didn't know you had to create the pretender before logging on, it's understandable that I ended up not having a password since I don't use passwords in SP. This is really a learning experience for me.
I am looking forward to figuring out how the whole MP thing works.
Gandalf...don't tell me if you don't want to since I'm in this game...but how are you acting now that you have this territory right next to the other guy's castle? (And it probably isn't me but I don't know.) Are you sending a message apologizing and telling him he can have the territory back? Putting defense there? Sneaking your monk away so that it will be free of hostile units for recapture? Raising taxes to 200%? I don't know about the other players, but these considerations would apply for me with respect to whether this were viewed as an act of war.
I also don't know about MP etiquette with regard to sending Messages to players. If folks are annoyed by getting what they regard as "too many" Messages from me, please let me know.
Maybe the reason my replays are consistent (so far) is that I'm using XP also.