aar details to be determined

[Targa]

With no offense intended to Arryn, I find AStott's writeup:
http://www.shrapnelgames.com/cgi-bin...;f=74;t=001153
much more informative and captivating. I find Arryn's writing style too "poetic" or something. Most of the time I find myself saying something like, "Huh? Was that a turn or not?"

For example:

In light of my success in driving back the forces of Pythium, I feel that the Fates will be receptive to my request for one of Lit's sister Norna to join me, so I command that the appropriate gifts and celebration be prepared. I also command that one more Jotun Spearman be readied for the siege of the Pythium citadel. These preparations drain the treasury of 250 coins, and I defer bolstering provincial defenses, preferring to wait and see how Pythium reacts to his successive defeats.

Could have been phrased as:
"This turn, I queue 1 Norna and 1 Jotun Spearman for recruitment, which leaves my treasury at 250 gold. I defer investing this in province defense, as I want to see how Pythium reacts to his successive defeats."

Obviously there are others who are thoroughly enjoying Arryn's AAR, so this is just a matter of personal preference. I myself prefer something a bit less archaic/cryptic/melodramatic and more straightforward. I gave up on following that AAR after the first couple of Posts.

Another example:

Bdvar reports that the faithful in Saeborea have declined to just 10% of the populace. How fickle these mortals are, that they should forget me so soon. I decide to leave the scout in place for a fourth consecutive month.

Huh? How can you know that 10% of the people are faithful? What does leaving a scout in the province have to do with your dominion level? Completely lost me on that one. How does "10% faithful" translate into "dominion"? Is your dominion 1 in that province, and 10 in your home province? And no, I'm not asking for a translation of "Arryn's terminology". Would I be correct in saying that this could be paraphrased as, "My dominion in Saeborea is declining, so I'm leaving my scout there"? It doesn't seem to be very "newbie-friendly". Maybe more experienced players have no problem following along, but it just gives me a headache.

My advice on writing an AAR is this: Make it clear and concise. Write not only what you do, but why you do it (ie: what's going on in your head). Add a little flavor in the form of drama if you wish, but keep it at a reasonable level.