Your Empire Is Going To War When:

[Atrocities]

Good ones.

[Starhawk]

24. Your Icaran and you just met a Xeno (read my story to understand), afterall they aren't human are they? and humans should rule the galaxy.

25. Your Icaran and you just met someone weaker then you and you have to fulfill your duty of Protecting other humans since obviously their military couldn't or you wouldn't have been able to destroy them.

26. The alien ambassador eats your mother

27. Your father eats the alien ambassador

28. Your first contact with an alien race led to you anal probing one of their "hicks".

29. You find out the other race has anal probes and decide it's so gross that you just have to kill them.

30. The alien race' leader is your ex-girlfriend and when her fleet attacks one of your planets you send a message asking why she did it and she replies "Ohh I think you know why."

31. You have an ex-girlfriend who is the ruler of an alien race.

[Nodachi]

32. Your empire is fictious but features prominently in a scifi movie.

[Captain Kwok]

33. The sum of all your ships, resources, colonies, and other factors like your research capacity has exceeded 500,000 - while the sum of the next largest race in your galaxy is 1.7 times less or 2.5 times if your empire is controlled by a retarded AI computer.

[Gozra]

34. As soon as you think you are big enough for your britiches= (pants, troUsers, adult clothing). (which turns out usally your not and you get hammered)

35.You know you have a decisive advantage. Which turns out you never had one in the first place.

36. In the 7th month 3rd day when the toad farts and the howling dog is silent when the Star Poggy is ascendant over the second moon and the Empress says it's ok.

37.When the B--tard other guy has deliberatly killed the 4th colony ship you sent into one of his claimed systems.(irony)

38. it's turn 72

[Starhawk]

39. You call your mommy on the phone and she tells you not to take that %&^# from some %*^$ing no good ($*#sucking aliens and says you should go to war with them.

40. Your Empire name is "The Galactic Empire" and you've just met a group called "Rebel Alliance"

41. Yur un Ork

42. Yur un Ork

43. You just met an ork and hate that they mentioned themselves twice.

44. Your people are getting restless so you draft a few thousand figuring if they die you don't have to deal with their whining anymore.

45. Your dearest closest ally blows up a star system with 150 of your warships and 8 regiments of your troops in it in order to destroy 30 enemy ships and a few colonies.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

76. In an ASTM game, you're playing as Federation, and suddenly you see that everyone else in the galaxy are AI Hirogen.....

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

70b. You are in a game against RudyHuxtable, NullAshton and myself and you say "Take-Out Huts Really Suck!"

[NullAshton]

71. You get a message claiming that your homesystem is their hunting grounds.
72. You decide to test out your shiny new star destroyer. Unluckily for you, they decided to move in a whole bunch of ships in that sector right before your people press the Big Red Button.
73. You accidentally hit the Big Red Button.
74. You accidentally hit the enemies Big Red Button, and this button isn't like the first one.
75. You're in a 1 vs 1 human game, and you say hi to the other person.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

70. You are in a game with Growltigger, Woundwort, Deathstar, AgentZero, Angel, Puke and Renegade, and you send a message to everyone saying "Bar and Grills Totally Suck!"