1.81 of the Pretender mod and Version 1.51 of the spell mod
at:
http://www.techno-mage.com/~zen/
just d/l them, unzip them, and put them in the "mods" folder
the map can be found at arryn's site:
http://www.dominions-2.org/files.htm#mods
i'd delete the old folder for the game that was created when you tried to join, just in case - it may cause a problem, or automatically host the game, or such
