You Might Be A Fat Emperor If:

Azselendor · #1 January 22nd, 2005, 06:43 AM

If it takes you two and a half hours to turn around.
If bending over prompts the evacuation of your capital world for fear of exposive methane burts
If you are being hunted by a tribe of eskimos.
If you've waken up inside of a movie theatre's backroom with a 'lard processing' machine hooked up to you and the popcorn machine.
If you force the Eee and Drushocka to unite against you.

Atrocities · #2 January 22nd, 2005, 08:33 AM

If you are your own natural resource for oil.
If you have ever been mined for resources
If you have ever been dropped on an enemy world as a bio-toxic weapon.

Azselendor · #3 January 22nd, 2005, 02:31 PM

If the drilled for oil on uranus (building off atrocities' one).
If you are 3 feet taller when you sit down on the floor.
If you the Last person of your race.
If your chef only knows how to work the deep fryer from the Battleship Yamato.
If you are addressed as "Your Hungriest"
If you've had more than 6 palace walls removed to be able inspect your armies.
If You've been labeled as a weapon of mass destruction by your allies and your enemies.

ironman · #4 January 22nd, 2005, 07:22 PM

You need a small ringworld to keep your pants up

Azselendor · #5 January 22nd, 2005, 09:11 PM

If the only thing bigger than your ego and empire's might combined is your pants size, or...
If you can't wear pants.

Atrocities · #6 January 22nd, 2005, 11:42 PM

Quote:

ironman said:

You need a small ringworld to keep your pants up

ROFLMAO.... Very funnny.

Atrocities · #7 January 22nd, 2005, 11:48 PM

The Last time you were seen naked, those who saw you went blind.
When you take a deep breath, you suck all the oxygen out of the air on your planet.
If your people have installed a back up beeper on your *** just in case.
When ever you are seen in public, the local robots begin yelling "DANGER DANGER DANGER."
If Lions hiss at you then runaway scared to death. ("He's goin'a eat me!")
You have ever depleted your empires national supply of cream custard in one swallow.
You have ever had to buy all of the seats on a world ship when traveling.

Strategia_In_Ultima · #8 January 25th, 2005, 11:53 AM

The reason revolts give you indigestion, - is because this Universe is a morsel of food that's stuck in your appendix.

An Organic race believes you are a Sphereworld and send a colony ship up your ***. It was never heard from again.

An Organic race believes you are a Sphereworld and send a colony ship in your mouth. You like the taste so much, that you order the conquest of the race and then make them your master ship engineers (i.e. chefs.).