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Old April 21st, 2005, 11:38 AM
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TurinTurambar TurinTurambar is offline
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Default Re: The Demise

Quote:
Is my style of writing terrible?
Is your sense of self-worth so low that you have to beg for approval with passive-aggressive prostrations?

No. Your style of writing is fine. Who can critique style anyway? It's yours, and there's "no accounting for taste." I would say that your efforts here show promise, if it's the "rough draft on a lark" that it appears to be. There are several typos, a bit of phraseology repetition, etc. but hey - that's what rough drafts are for.

Two suggestions:
1.) Print it out on white paper in Times New Roman with double-spaced lines and wide margins. Go over it once and check for spelling errors and punctuation oddities.
2.) If you're writing a passage this short, there is plenty of room for more background character information than you have here. Use the wide margins to make notes. (ie: "Insert 'such'n'such' here" etc.)

I already like Tamarillho; I see her as a young Capt. Janeway. If that's not what you're going for, give us some more info.

My $0.02 since you asked for it,
Turin[img]/threads/images/Graemlins/icon42.gif[/img]

OH and BTW "thanks a lot" for pimping my underground adventures at the B&G... sheesh...
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