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Is my style of writing terrible?
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Is your sense of self-worth so low that you have to beg for approval with passive-aggressive prostrations?
No. Your style of writing is fine. Who can critique style anyway? It's yours, and there's "no accounting for taste." I would say that your efforts here show promise, if it's the "rough draft on a lark" that it appears to be. There are several typos, a bit of phraseology repetition, etc. but hey - that's what rough drafts are for.
Two suggestions:
1.) Print it out on white paper in Times New Roman with double-spaced lines and wide margins. Go over it once and check for spelling errors and punctuation oddities.
2.) If you're writing a passage this short, there is plenty of room for more background character information than you have here. Use the wide margins to make notes. (ie: "Insert 'such'n'such' here" etc.)
I already like Tamarillho; I see her as a young Capt. Janeway. If that's not what you're going for, give us some more info.
My $0.02 since you asked for it,
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OH and BTW "thanks a lot" for pimping my underground adventures at the B&G... sheesh...
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Aa Turam Empire
Geekdom is eternal... you will be assimilated... resistance is futile.
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