The Demise

[TurinTurambar]

Is my style of writing terrible?

Is your sense of self-worth so low that you have to beg for approval with passive-aggressive prostrations?

No. Your style of writing is fine. Who can critique style anyway? It's yours, and there's "no accounting for taste." I would say that your efforts here show promise, if it's the "rough draft on a lark" that it appears to be. There are several typos, a bit of phraseology repetition, etc. but hey - that's what rough drafts are for.

Two suggestions:
1.) Print it out on white paper in Times New Roman with double-spaced lines and wide margins. Go over it once and check for spelling errors and punctuation oddities.
2.) If you're writing a passage this short, there is plenty of room for more background character information than you have here. Use the wide margins to make notes. (ie: "Insert 'such'n'such' here" etc.)

I already like Tamarillho; I see her as a young Capt. Janeway. If that's not what you're going for, give us some more info.

My $0.02 since you asked for it,
Turin[img]/threads/images/Graemlins/icon42.gif[/img]

OH and BTW "thanks a lot" for pimping my underground adventures at the B&G... sheesh...

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Oh, trust me, you have no idea.....



More background info

Tanner-shift compensators: When you enter a warp point, the ship enters a conduit known as a "transpace conduit" which is some sort of non-dimensional tunnel existing outside *all* dimensions, not just ours. The conduit walls emit powerful energy fields of various types. One of these types propels a ship across interstellar distances, while another is some sort of neuro-suppressant field which suppresses sentient thought, which is why people blue out when they enter a warp point. However, a scientist named Tanner has found a way to block the neuro-suppressant field, while allowing the "propulsion" field through. He designed a generator which creates a field lining the hull of a starship which stops the neuro-suppressant field from entering the ship. This way, starships can warp to other star systems and their crews remain conscious for the duration of the trip.

Since transpace exists outside all dimensions, it does not abide by any known or speculated physics model. This way, both tiny probes the size of a human finger and COMCAs larger than Manhattan can warp through the same conduit. The conduit will always have the same relative width.