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  #1  
Old May 2nd, 2005, 12:17 PM
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Default Re: OT: Somebody\'s critique of my story

Yeah but I hope he was reviewing it as a story independent of the game. Now alot of things make perfect sense only in the context of the game, but not so much as a story. You'd be crazy to use a mixed fleet in SEIV, but for a story it seems better and more realistic.

Which brings me back to the point. Lose the game mechanics. Make it realistic of course, but unless you want to sell it to just SEIV players (and there ain't that many of us ) take of the straitjacket of the game and have some more flexibility. Variable sized ships in the fleets, different more elaborate space battles, fighters/bombers, worlds that have rebels problems even with loads of troops on them, ships that will surrender and no stupid suicidal attacks by small inferior fleets. That's just off the top of my head.
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Old May 2nd, 2005, 12:30 PM
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Default Re: OT: Somebody\'s critique of my story

El Phil, was it really necessary to quote that quote?

This guy clearly knows nothing about history or realism. The Roman Empire was rather religious... Gigantic space ships would never be able to just zoom around like fighters as they do in Star Trek.
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Old May 2nd, 2005, 12:32 PM
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Default Re: OT: Somebody\'s critique of my story

Uhhhh probably not. I was going through point by point so it was at the time, I could of tidied it up I suppose.
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Old May 2nd, 2005, 12:34 PM
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Default Re: OT: Somebody\'s critique of my story

Oh... didn't notice that it had responses interspersed. Perhaps remove a few quote tags from it so that others will actually see them?
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Old May 2nd, 2005, 12:36 PM
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Default Re: OT: Somebody\'s critique of my story

You know that's an idea.
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Old May 2nd, 2005, 01:25 PM
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Default Re: OT: Somebody\'s critique of my story

Quote:
Imperator Fyron said:
El Phil, was it really necessary to quote that quote?

This guy clearly knows nothing about history or realism. The Roman Empire was rather religious... Gigantic space ships would never be able to just zoom around like fighters as they do in Star Trek.
See that's what I was thinking Rome was religious and why does everyone think that in the future everyone is going to be an atheist and all governments are going to outlaw religion?

And same goes with massive warships, they would NOT zip and zoom like mad because no matter the fact that gravity doesn't effect you in space necessarily inertia still does as does mass.

El_Phil:

1. Thanks! I mean come on they are not nearly as amoral as the "evil universe" star trekkers.

4. The Xeno-vs-Human thing is as you said seemingly streightfoward to me as well, Xeno=sub-human thus not worth worrying about losses to them.
As far as the "inconsistent" approach to the other human nations it depends on which Admiral is looking at it, overall if your human and you surrender you'll be treated well, yet the Anderman and Mantis don't even relent in fighting back which earns both respect and hatred at the same time.

5. Well it was in part to show that the Icarans are still very much like us when it comes to interpersonal relationships.

6. Well remember he didn't say that I made it seem like I was "losing" just "struggling to win", he basically told me to just portray the invasions as an easy victory.
I did show in the story that Icara is meeting with some problems, remember the 2nd fleet was effectively disabled from the fight for months while their damaged ships were repaired.
The first fleet's offensive into Anderman territory was halted after a 105 ship Anderman fleet showed up -fortunately they didn't invade my bridgehead system as that would have caused serious losses-.
And the 3rd fleet suffered a 14 ship loss and was forced out of the Mantis invasion fortunately I got really lucky and pulled them out to Risa before Corellian went BOOM!

In fact both due to economic strain and enemy resistance I am struggling more then the individual battles make it sound like, besides that in the last three turns I've lost 11 planets.

7. It's part "rule by fear" and part "appealing to the masses", if you are a dissenter or government leader who resists or tries to get others to resist your shot plain and simple, if you are just an average citizen they appeal to your "sense of equality" among other things.

8. Yeah no kidding I mean Icara is a slightly modified monarchy.

9-10: BIIIG reason I don't stick to star trek like zippy zoom crap is because I wanted a deliberately "retro" style of fighting, if you've ever seen videos of WWII battles they're hardly "boring".
Ships of the Line (AKA Dreadnought and Bigger) in the Icaran universe are the only ships that can withstand streight up to to toe energy weapon battles because I lasers destroy cruisers and battle cruisers in about four good clean shots.
Light Raiders do exist in my fleet as stated but they are obviously not main combatants and fighters are useless.

I explained away "Talisman" as an advanced sensors suite, think uber Aegis.

11. Well IMHO the only side of Icara you see in the wars is the brutal merciless conquerers you don't see the culture the heritage or why they are brutal.

12. Yeah I'll get used to it lol

13. Considering there were real stormtroopers in this universe in the past, and considering that "stormtrooper" definately fits a force of elite soldiers who are used to capture fortified worlds....George Lucas didn't invent the term yah know?....well I guess he doesn't.

14. Well no offense but considering each SINGLE SD requiers a crew of 6,100 a fleet of 1,000 would be 6,100,000 people, doesn't this guy realize that the ammount of trained military personel you can raise is limited? I mean yes I have 480+ billion people in my empire but think about how many would be in the Merchant Marine the State Security, and the ground forces not to mention civilian sectors.
Now if he wants tens of thousands then the numbers just keep getting higher on personnel, not to mention how much money it costs to even build a single SD.

15. Thanks I liked the way I chose to name my regiments, I mean it's a sense of historic pride to the Icarans, they've been naming their units like that since the dawn of their Empire why would they quite after all that time?

16. Okay I actually did explain this, two ESS transports crashed on Brandenburg and were later rediscovered by the Icarans, the ESS was entirely ASIAN which means chinese/japanese all the others. And unlike many other cultures Asians tend to be much more concerned about "pure blood" so they'd likely be among the last of any peoples to change their ways and start intermingling blood and culture with the Icarans.

17. I don't know a lot of people must have been led into stupid ambushes in history, even good military commanders so it's not just a "game dinamic" it's reality.
And what do you mean "sharper"?

18. Actually heh, I sort of did make mention that Icarans have to drop their shields in the section where they are firing guns, because of the way their energy fields interact, it's ahem explosive....we ain't talking star trek/star wars shields where things can magically go out but not come in.

19. Well they do actually get R&R, I have mentioned that offhand but when your spending 90% of your time in a system that once belonged to the enemy and still has the occasional Riot it's best no to go planet side eh?

20. In a lot of places in Asia (including parts of China) the family name comes before the "First name" or if you have an extended family it goes from "clan-you-family" thus Yu Lin Pe, her family can trace it's self to the Yu's but her family direct is Pe her given name is Lin.
At least that's how I understood it when the Asian name thing was explained to me I may be wrong.

21.I actually name all my warships, and it depends on a lot of things I mean I have a ship named "Salvation" and a few others, my ships are named after, Places/Famous Icaran leaders/Battles/scary things/predatory animals.
It's actually not designed in the "Star Wars" way where it's to show you how pure evil the Empire is it's just that no navy would go around naming their ships "Kind and Cuddly or Fluffy Bunny" the Royal navy choses to name mainly after something that would make you think Power and force.

22.Crown= Five credits

23. Well the Icaran soldiers have seen millions and in some cases billions of people die in front of them practically, Ross for example was involved in several planetary purges.....no matter how long you've been fighting it still would have to ware at you every now and then, especially if your not a heartless killer.


Any other comments?
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Old May 2nd, 2005, 01:38 PM

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Default Re: OT: Somebody\'s critique of my story

That guys is just plain wierd. I may be harsh when I critique, but at least my comments are reasonably well-informed -- and it probably helps that if I see something that doesn't jive, I assume that there is an explanation if I just ask for it!
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Old May 2nd, 2005, 03:47 PM

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Default Re: OT: Somebody\'s critique of my story

Quote:
Sorry if I offended you at all but that's just my opinion and I think it will be the opinion of a lot of the smarter sci-fi readers above the 8th grade reading level....though for kids it might make a good light read.
The way this person critiqued and the reasoning behind his comments seems like he includes himself in the pre-8th grade level. Especially when he says:

Quote:
2. What the hell is with this "Religious Zeal" your people seem to have? If anything an Imperial culture would be more agnostic or down right atheist because religion tends to be for ignorant people who don't understand science, which obviously your Icarans do.

That is about the most ignorant viewpoint I've ever heard. Most people I know who are religious (not fanatical but religious) are by no means ignorant. In fact, they're usually quite well learned and it's usually the opposite. Believing in God does NOT mean you don't believe in science. Those who totally disregard religion are generally the ignorant ones. Those people don't believe anything until science says so; even if it takes 10,000 years for science to "prove" it. Sooooo closed minded and superior. Bah!!!!!

Some people should really not open their mouths (or touch their keyboards) - it makes them sound really silly.
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Old May 2nd, 2005, 06:00 PM
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Default Re: OT: Somebody\'s critique of my story

See that's the thing that actually kind of confused me the most I mean granted I'm no quantum physisist but I am also not ignorant and I am religious.

But The part about being a good "light read" for "kids" is the part that hurt the most I mean I didn't think my writing was that shallow hrm.
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A line that made me chuckle, I can't remember where I heard it I just know it made me laugh.

"I'm not really a slapper....I mainly punch and gouge."
Tammy Lee my kung fu instructor/sifu's daughter when asked if she ever slapped a boy for saying something nasty to her.
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