Revoltingly OT: Size of your colon - Page 2

Renegade 13 · #1 November 16th, 2005, 11:49 PM

Ach, knew I had something wrong. Thanks for the correction.

Hunpecked · #2 November 2nd, 2005, 06:48 PM

For most people, it takes about 24 hours for food to transit the digestive system. So you'd have to eat at least 40 pounds of food a day to keep 40 pounds in various stages of digestion.

More actually, allowing for absorption of water and other nutrients.

EvilGenius4ABetterTomorro · #3 November 2nd, 2005, 07:28 PM

Infomercials in Ireland? The terrorists have already won!

AgentZero · #4 November 2nd, 2005, 08:42 PM

Quote:

EvilGenius4ABetterTomorro said:
Infomercials in Ireland? The terrorists have already won!

Ah, don't worry. I'm in Canada visiting my folks. Hence the jetlag.

I figured it probably wasn't physically possible for someone to have that much crap (pardon the pun) sitting inside them. But I tells ya, this infomercial was something else. It was set up like a panel show, where the two hosts grill the guest on various aspects of their platform, except unlike decent panel shows where the guest actually gets grilled, every single question the 'hosts' asked was obviously designed to make yet another statement as to the wonderousness of his new product, with absolutely no follow up.
Host: "But is it safe?"
Guest: "It's perfectly safe."
Host: "Amazing. And how does it work again?"

And the funniest thing? The guest used the 'fact' that his kids had bigger, thicker and longer faeces that his. In his own words, his 5 year old was expelling something the 'length and thickness' of the guests arm, and this was taken as evidence that there was something wrong with the guest's digestive tract. Now I don't know about you but if I had a five year old that was dumping logs the size and thickness of my arm, I'd be more concerned about the state of his digestive tract than my own.

And what's this sicko doing poking through his kids poo anyway?

Renegade 13 · #5 November 2nd, 2005, 09:21 PM

Quote:

AgentZero said:
And the funniest thing? The guest used the 'fact' that his kids had bigger, thicker and longer faeces that his. In his own words, his 5 year old was expelling something the 'length and thickness' of the guests arm, and this was taken as evidence that there was something wrong with the guest's digestive tract. Now I don't know about you but if I had a five year old that was dumping logs the size and thickness of my arm, I'd be more concerned about the state of his digestive tract than my own.

And what's this sicko doing poking through his kids poo anyway?

I was thinking the exact same thing! There is something seriously wrong...with both the kid and the parent!

douglas · #6 November 2nd, 2005, 09:22 PM

Get that kid to a doctor, and get his parent to a psychiatrist!

Will · #7 November 2nd, 2005, 10:01 PM

Perhaps he meant the size of 40 British one pound coins? I mean, it technically is "40 pounds". And I could believe that there's a bunch of crap about the size of a roll of coins lurking around in there...

But, of course, it's an infomercial. It's all about crap anyway.

dogscoff · #8 November 3rd, 2005, 07:13 AM

Quote:

Perhaps he meant the size of 40 British one pound coins?

Or two �20 notes..?

You'll probably find that there is one world-record case of some hugely obese, chronically constipated McPerson who hasn't moved their arse or bowels for the last six months and subsequently had 40 pounds of gunk hanging around in their bowels. The advertisers then use this exceptional case as a benchmark to convince the audience that this could apply to them. If you (can stand to) watch the ad really carefully you'll probably catch a reference early on that says something like "did you know that you could have up to forty pounds of blah blah blah". Note the words "could have" and "up to". These indicators of vagueness are quietly dropped almost immediately and the idea that *you* are carrying the poo equivalent of quintuplets in your digestive tract is portrayed more and more as a certainty as the ad continues.

EDIT: Rremin me why we're having this conversation again?

narf poit chez BOOM · #9 November 3rd, 2005, 03:27 PM

Males and poop jokes?

AgentZero · #10 November 4th, 2005, 05:03 AM

OK, you wanna know where it went totally over the top? Like I mentioned above, the 'health expert' guest claimed his kids were dropping logs the size and thickness of HIS arm. Not his kid's arm, HIS. And he figured out there was something wrong with him because he thought his should be proportionatly the same size. PROPORTIONATLY?! That would mean a 'healthy' human adult would be having a bowel movement that was BIGGER THAN THEIR LEG! Well, he was right about one thing, there is something very, very wrong with him, but I think it's a bit north of his digestive tract.