Neo Xekinima - LA game of Mod nations (finished)

[LoloMo]

Ahh yes, the hypocritical worshippers of Lady Elena of course sent no less than a Mummy adorned with all the most powerful artifacts to conquer poor Sanguinian villagers.
The evil wind of leprosy that this creature, foul even by Sanguinian standards, kills all that surrounds it.

The Sanguinian nobles, in their hour of demise, laughs loudly as the goody doodies are finally exposed for the filth that they are.

[Morkilus]

Pics or it's not true.

[Tuidjy]

Of course it is not true. Yes, another of Ulm's fallen heroes has returned from
the dead to continue battling evil in all its guises. He is not the first holy
undead whose duty is stronger than the chains of Tartarus. Our elven allies have
seen a storm hero closing the ring around Jomon's capital.

But it is not poor villagers that are being killed. It's brainwashed vampire
collaborators, the members of the militia that allows the bloodsucking monsters
to maintain their control over the peasantry. Ulm has liberated a dozen
provinces. With almost no exception, the population has been taxed nearly to
extinction. The unrest levels are usually at least twice higher than necessary
to forbid any kind of productive activity in the province. Once Ulm assumes
control, the taxes are waived until law and order is restored. The same is true
for the provinces freed from the cat demons' yoke.

The above is representative of Ulm's ideology. Abominations are dealt with,
efficiently and without mercy, innocents are protected, treated with honour and
kindness, and welcomed to the faithful of Lady Elena.

And of course, the rest of the vampires proclamation is pure nonsense as well.
The wind of leprosy does not kill anyone. It will disease those who oppose
liberating armies, but their lives are forfeit anyway. Even into unlife, the
heroes of Ulm know their duty. No innocent is ever exposed to the horrible wind,
and the local population is safe.

As for his equipment, I am sure that it looks mighty and powerful to backward
vampires who know nothing beyond preying on peasants and hiding from the Light.
But the truth is, Ulm has been able to forge these magical items since the
first year after the Civil War. No artifacts or even very powerful magical
items have been carried by our men into battle.

[Sombre]

What would an Ulmish hero be doing in tartarus with ancient imprisoned titans, monsters and the like? Ulm wasn't even founded when they were thrown into Tartarus.

This all sounds like death magic to me. So are Ulm harvesting gems from corpses now?

[Valandil]

Be careful, Sombre. Such talk will get you declared an abomination etc. etc.

[Sombre]

It's too late, he's already declared Vaettiheim an abomination.

Other abominations recently declared include: toast, wednesdays, touching your teeth with your tongue, being surprised, the angle at which a pig's tail curls, frosted glass, red and green, lampshades, thick milkshake straws, stationary featuring characters from Peanuts, cliches in westerns, squares and apricots.

[Morkilus]

Also: Misspelling stationery.

[zepath]

I've just finished skimming the last ten pages or so of this AAR and just wanted to mention how amusing the reactions to the death of Kharam Dzu's crusty captain was. It happened just as I'd have hoped. Also, to all participants and especially the mod-balancers: thank you for showing so much attention to these mods. A lot of care went into them and it's great to see them played and enjoyed.

Zepath

[Tuidjy]

Ever since their unprovoked attack, the knights of Teutanion have suffered one
disastrous defeat after another. In their desperation, they have abandoned
all pretense of chivalry and morality. Last month, they used their rudimentary
knowledge of astral magic to drive a number of peaceful peasants insane, and
to force them to rebel against Ulm's authority.

The province will of course be liberated again; it will be the third time. But
the human losses are already unforgivable. Many people died in the process.
Others were driven insane. Even the leaders of the rebellion went mad with the
strain that forced them to turn on the nation that had saved them from the
bloodthirsty vampires and threated them with concern and respect.

But the rebels' madness pales compared to that of Teutanion's false God. That
despicable idol has shown utter lack of concern for the lives and happiness of
mortals, no matter whether they serve it or not. Throwing hundreds of knights
into maelstroems of battle magic, making serfs attack heavily armoured, veteran
heavy cavalry, ordering sages to engage in Mage Duels that will leave them
exhausted before the charge of our Templars... and now using inhumanly cruel
astral magic against a highly developed astral nation.

Nevertheless, the nation of Ulm will stay true to its principles, and conduct its
wars in a civilized and honorable manner. We shall not sacrifice children,
decimate our own citizens with insane taxes, lobotomize peasants, or throw our
soldiers to certain death for perceived military gains.

We had hoped that the knights would see that the demonic and vampiric hordes
summoned by Vaettiheim threaten to engulf the whole world, and would cease their
ineffective attacks on Ulm. But after the latest atrocity committed by Sophia,
our diplomats have been instructed to ignore any overtures from Teutanion.

The followers of Sophia have been declared an abomination upon Lady Elena.

[Tuidjy]

In the last three months, the forces of Ulm have been mostly on the defensive,
pacifying and securing the lands gained in the Summer campaign, and repulsing
the attacks of Vaettiheim and Teutanion. We would like to reassure all good
people that the war is progressing well, and the might of Ulm is growing despite
the continued assaults of the forces of Darkness.

In Scandinavia, Vaettiheim tried once again to dislodge Ulm from the beachhead
next to its capital. In their desperation, the goblins attacked with an army
that barely outnumbered ours. It goes without saying, the slaughter was
one-sided. For the six Ulm soldiers that lost their lives, Vaettiheim paid with
about a hundred shade beasts, scores of vampires, and hundreds of wolves and
dispossessed spirits. This victory allowed our men to complete the construction
of the castle east of the goblin's capital. Using it as a base, our men will
bring Lady Elena's justice to those who would murder children in their bid for power.

In the south of France, Teutanion assembled a vast host for the invasion of
Corsica. It included at least sixty of their best knights with their retainers,
and hundreds of infantrymen. Its magical support was provided by half a dozen
mages who led a dozen ice drakes and eight magical constructs known as crushers.
But before the invasion force could board the ships that were to take it to the
islands, it was intercepted by one of our white priests, and a few Ulmish angels.
We are sorry to report that the priest and one of the angels did not survive the
battle, but neither did three quarters of their enemies. We believe that
Teutanion's plans for the invasion of Corsica will have to be shelved for a while.

In Africa, Teutanion lost the library from which sages were being recruited. The
false idol Sophia was in the castle, but rather than face the might of Ulm, it
chose to teleport back to its capital, taking all defenders with it. Cowardice
seems to be the explanation for most of Sophia's actions. Teleporting away from
battles, breaking down the minds of defenseless peasants... contrast this with
Lady Elena who commanded, Herself, the defense of the Scandinavian beachhead.

Even with Lady Elena fighting in far lands, the news from Ulm's heartland is
mostly good. The Home Army has successfully repelled dozens of incursions,
and the corpses of hundreds of barbarians and Vaettiheim dire wolves litter
Ulm's Eastern border. Somewhat more worrying, the bodies of about thirty glade
riders were found after one of the skirmishes. We are sure that there is a good
reason for those elves' attempt to sneak across our border. Still, we would be
happier if no further elven troops are discovered by our patrols.