My subconscious mind also tells me there is so much that would have to be done to make dom4 good it would only make me sad
I prefer prayers. Blood slaves tend to get icky when sent by postal services. They are also difficult to discard, since there is no gore-waste-bin in the local recycling station.
That's okay, we'll send them dehydrated - that way they're only 4 inches high and don't struggle in the parcel (that's how blood mages carry them around while teleporting/Cloud Trapezing/flying - they sprinkle a little water on them just before battles start). As for the gore afterwards, just dig it into the garden. It'll bring your dahlias up a treat.