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  #1  
Old July 24th, 2002, 01:18 AM
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Atrocities Atrocities is offline
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Default Re: The Cleansing Part II

Thanks Puke. Well, is it a good story, or bad one?
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  #2  
Old July 24th, 2002, 01:44 AM
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Default Re: The Cleansing Part II

well, it was worth remembering the old thread. as others have brought up, i especially like how se4 game mechanics are being translated into the trek universe. the reference to ST:NG warp lane degredation and ST:V omega directive stuff is a stroke of genius, and really brings the story home. it also sets up solid reasons to have all of the different feddie shipsets in the same game.

the writing good, though you probably need an editor to run through spelling and grammar, but all in all its good. i think the characters acurately represent the personalities i am familiar with from TV and movies. good stuff.
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Old July 24th, 2002, 02:02 AM
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Default Re: The Cleansing Part II

Just finished reading the story. I love the way you've brought the Star Trek universe and SEIV universe into one. I liked the Transwarp conduits the Borg are setting around and how they are the Warp points from the game. Genius idea Atrocities. Can't wait for part III! Totally worth the time to read.

But I can't believe Riker, Worf, and Troi are gone. *tear* But it's still a good story even though good people are dead.

[ July 24, 2002, 01:15: Message edited by: Ragnarok ]
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Ragnarok - Hevordian Story Thread
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I think...therefore I am confused.
They were armed. With guns, said Omari.
Canadians. With guns. And a warship. What is this world coming to?
The dreaded derelict dwelling two ton devil bunny!
Every ship can be a minesweeper... Once
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Old July 24th, 2002, 04:04 AM

chewy027 chewy027 is offline
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Default Re: The Cleansing Part II

The Q's can always bring them back. And I don't remember him actually saying worf was dead, just that he would never see him again. But yeah i'd have to say it was a good read.
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Old July 24th, 2002, 04:07 AM
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Default Re: The Cleansing Part II

Ya, Office took a dump about a month back. I am stuck using word. Most distasteful.
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Old July 24th, 2002, 04:11 AM
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Default Re: The Cleansing Part II

THE CLEANSING
"We've made too many compromises already, too many retreats! They invade our space and we fall back -- they have annihilated entire worlds and we fall back! Not again! The line must be drawn here -- this far, no further! We shall make them pay for what they've done!" -- Admiral Jean Luc Picard

By Dawns Early Light They Came:

The Cleansing came in waves, endless in their onslaught and unrelenting in their pursuit. First the Breen home world, then Earth, Vulcan, Romulus, Remus, Qo'nos, Cardassia, Ferenginar, and every inhabited planet in between. One by one the major planets of the Alpha Quadrant fell. Not even the combine fleets of the Federation, Klingon Empire, Romulan Star Empire, Cardassian Union or the Ferengi Alliance could stem the tied of these relentless invaders.

By the eve of the Last battle, nearly all planets within the former empires had been desimated or destroyed, only a few non vital core systems remained. The battle for Khitomer was only beginning and already it had been lost.

"Attention all ships, by order of Fleet Admiral Picard, all ships are to disengage the Invaders and retreat to their Alpha sites! Repeat, all ships disengage and retreat to your Alpha site designations."

The order came blaring arcossed the ship COM system as the deck of Captain Hiratio O'Connor's mighty star ship jolted violently. On the viewer, hundreds of ships, varying in origins, began breaking formation and warping away from Khitomer. Stunned silence had long since over taken the bridge of the Agustas as crew awaited the Captains order.

Breaking the silence with a somber tone, Captain O’Connor gave his orders. "Helm, disengaged current target and set course for our Alpha site, maximum warp."

"Eye sir," replied the helm officer, “course laid in.”

"Sir! The Enterprise!” First Officer, Talbot Ashcroft, a man un-accustom to alarm, was now speaking with alarm very evident in his voice. “She is beginning to break up!" He slowly stood, pointing, to the view screen. "Those ships are moving in for the kill sir!"

Swinging about in his command chair, Captain O'Connor did not hesitate in his course of action. "Helm belay my Last order, and move us within transporter range of the Enterprise. Tactical, target that the large lead ships and prepare to fire everything we have. Communications hail the Enterprise, tell her we are preparing to retrieve survivors."

Knowing full well what lay to them to perform, the bridge crew of the Agustas instinctively reacted and performed their duties as ordered despite the hopelessness of the situation. The Enterprise and indeed the life of the Federation now depended upon them.

Yeves Earl, the Augusta's Senior Science Officers, could hardly contain himself as he yelled from his science station: "Sir, the Seattle, and the Columbian have broken escape vectors and are moving to assist." Looking back at his consule he continued speaking. "I am now detecting several other ships, Klingon, Ferengi, Romulan, and Federation also converging on the Enterprise sir."

"Thank you Mr. Yeves. Tactical, would you be so kind as to FIRE on that alien hunk of junk before it destroys the Enterprise!"

"Eye Sir! Torpedoes away!"

The entire ship seemed to rock with the force that followed the launching of four colbalt blue spheres of light that shot forth from the bow of the secondary hule of the Agustas, an Excelsior Class Refit, streaked effortlessly toward their target.

The impact of the first two trilithium Colbalt Torpedoes disabled the Invading ships shields providing the remaining two torpedoes a clear path directly to the hull of the vessel. Exploding into brilliant colors of death, the payload of these deadly warheads expertly dispatched the Invader igniting it into the trillion plus particles of superheated space dust.

"EXCELLENT SHOOTING Mr. Cartwright!" Cheered the Captain in an uncharacteristically loud complement for the Tactical Officer and his targeting skill. However, the cheering bridge crew quickly over shadowed his breach in protocol as he looked on at the now ever expanding cloud of dust that had once been an invading ship of unknown origin.

"Transporter Control, get as many of the Enterprises crew as we can get. Helm, stand by to get us the hell out of here." Ordered Captain O'Connor as he leaned back in his command chair and brought his hand together in a pray gesture.

"Eye Eye sir!" Relied the helmsman as he began tapping the helm controls.

"We Klingon’s have no Devil." - Kang

Nothing Lasts Forever:

The klaxon of the Complex alarms were defining as people began to run past the young First Lieutenant who was yelling at people and waving them toward himself.

"Everyone into the complex, the Invaders are within striking distance." It seemed the more that the Lieutenant yelled the louder the klaxon became. Many were now running past him and through the entrance to the underground complex. However, many people simply stood around clueless as to the horror that was about to befall them. Nothing stopped those who chose to flea, hundreds upon hundreds of Klingon’s, Romulans, Andorians and even Humans and Vulcan’s began dropping personal items and running full out toward the complex and safety. They knew only moments separated them from life and death.

"6 minutes until orbital breech." Came the computerized announcement over the complex's COM system.

“Ironic in a way, how a machine announces the impending doom of this once beautiful world as casually as it would announce a new arrival at ones door.” It was an observation that T’Mal, a tall thin and obviously elder Romulan Senator, had not planned on making out loud. He glanced from the speaker on the wall to the faces of the two men who stood with him. A Klingon who looked as angry as he did concerned and a human in a Star Fleet uniform.

The Human, Captain Sisko, a black human male with a surprisingly strong persona did not look up from the console as he replied to T’Mal statement. “If only a person had the time to contemplate adding emotion to these damned things.”

The Klingon looked at both of the men, before he spoke; “time is what it has announced we do not have.” Then he picked up a remote microphone and switched it on. "Operations this is General Worf. Seal the complex, I repeat, seal the complex."

More too come

"In this galaxy, there's a mathematical probability of three-million Earth-type planets. And in all the universe, three million million galaxies like this one. And in all of that, and perhaps more, only one of each of us." - Dr. Lenard McCoy

The Dawn Of A New Age:

Following the destruction of the known powers of the Alpha Quadrant, chaos in sued as the Cleansing Fleet systematically targeted all core systems and known colonies. Sparing some, but annihilating most, only a handful of each race survived to live on. The Federation, Klingon Empire, Breen, Dominion Order, Cardassians, Ferengi, etc all survived in one form or another and now began the daunting task of rebuilding their societies and cultures. This same scenario played out acrossed the galaxy as the Cleansing move on, many races near utter collapse found themselves having to rebuild and re-learn many technologies that they had once taken for credit. All the while living under the fear that the Cleansing would return. Not once race was left untouched by the devastation of the Cleansing. Every planet in every system within the entire galaxy had been visited by the Cleansing. Not one world was left unsacred by this horrific war.

Many Races found themselves grouped together with people they once considered to be their mortal enemies. A strange brotherhood began to form among many as a history of hate and distrust was transformed into a future of peace and mutual protection.

For years, each race worked to build a new home, a new beginning, a New Age.

(100 Years Later)

It Begins:

In a galaxy where anarchy is law, there is only one kind of alien you can trust. A dead one.

In this galaxy, Races hold their space with unyielding strength, but when strange new Races come knocking on their door, space becomes a little crowded.

Now, where one Race held firm, two will square off. But when they begin to understand one another, alliances are formed and treats are signed.

This is a tale of many allies, enemies, and neutrals in a galaxy where all has been lost, and rebuilt many times, a galaxy that is now evolving into A New Age.
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  #7  
Old July 24th, 2002, 04:18 AM
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Default Re: The Cleansing Part II

Quote:
Originally posted by chewy027:
The Q's can always bring them back. And I don't remember him actually saying worf was dead, just that he would never see him again. But yeah i'd have to say it was a good read.
"He lost a lot of friends that day. Worf, Sisko, Riker, and Deanna. Gone and dead for all he knew. Once the Cleansing had attacked an area, no alliance ship ever returned for to do was suicide."

I guess you're right, which once again makes me wrong. haha.. I'm used to it by now. I was thinking when I first read it that "lost" meant they died for sure. But now that I re-read it and it says "Gone and dead for all he knew." That makes it clear that he doesn't know for sure if they are dead. Just the fact that he lost them due to not being able to warp to wherever they are.
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Ragnarok - Hevordian Story Thread
-------------------
I think...therefore I am confused.
They were armed. With guns, said Omari.
Canadians. With guns. And a warship. What is this world coming to?
The dreaded derelict dwelling two ton devil bunny!
Every ship can be a minesweeper... Once
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