As a "foody" with a fondness for exotic dishes and unusual ingredients, Lady Esmeralda of Ermor has undertaken to perform a taste-test of Wo-Man's social heirarchy for us. Her results to-date as shown below, as she works her way through the list:
Quote:
Official Menu of Avalon
Goddesses - Quite tasty when served deep fried with a side order of squid. I could eat Lucy all day long! Wait, that didn't come out quite right. (Awkward pause follows.) Er, moving right along then...
Witches: Aged meat like this has a lot to recommend it when stewed for a long time, as it was in this classic Vindaloo curry. A bit too much bile and vinegar though. And Mother Fiommulga complained like you would not believe when we were stuffing her into the pot. With hindsight, she probably had a point about how we should have killed her before we cooked her. Live and learn!
Fishnanny (deceased): Average when alive, and death hasn't improved her much. Skip unless you are massively drunk after a night out on the town and fancy a challenge.
Giant four armed wizards: Very common, despite pretentions to royal status. Not bad wrapped in a bun with hot mustard and fried onions and consumed with a crisp Ulmish lager. We recommend earplugs though, as our specimen at the tasting kept bleating about being the Emperor of some tin pot country name C'ien T'hi or somesuch.
Other Women: We flayed the flesh off of these critters and had it as long pork steak tartare. Yummy! And the skeletal remains make great minions, once you've sucked the marrow out. Best with a cheeky Pinot, and band playing in the background to drown out the screams of the victims, er ingredients.
Unicorns: Why would anyone glue a carrot on a horses forhead and pretend it was some sort of magical beast? Made a pretty fine spicy sausage though, served with a garlic mash and side vegetables.
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Stay tuned for more results next month, after we finish rounding up the sacred geese and the puppies and force feeding them to fatten up their livers!
Lady Esmeralda, First Consul and Chief Food Critic of Ermor
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