Advise

[Wardad]

***

WISE OLD INDIAN

The old Cherokee chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking the ceremonial pipe, eyeing the US government officials sent to interview him.

"Chief Two Eagles," one official began, "you have observed the white man for 90 years. You have observed his wars and his material wealth. You have seen his progress and the damage he has done." The Chief nodded that it was so.

The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?" The Chief stared at the government officials for over a minute, and then calmly replied,

"When white man found the land, Indians were running it.

No taxes.

No debt.

Plenty buffalo.

Plenty beaver.

Women did all the work.

Medicine man free.

Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing, all night loving women."

The Chief leaned back and smiled, "White man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."

***

[Wardad]

Originally posted by mlmbd:
Wardad, any reason you stopped at 99???

LOL The list, by the way, is great!

mlmbd

Yes, I stopped for a beer run.

[Wardad]

THE NEWEST MEDICATIONS FOR WOMEN

D A M I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8hrs.

St. M O M 'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

[mlmbd]

Wardad, LOL are these over the counter pharmaceuticals???

mlmbd

[Wardad]

KABUL (Voice of Sharia) -- Citing worldwide reaction to Last week's terrorist attacks, multi-national terror network Al Qaeda announced Thursday that it would lay off 5,000 or more holy warriors. The "holy war" concern said the move was necessary because of an expected 20 percent fatwah reduction and the cost and complexity of thwarting new airport and immigration security procedures, according to a statement broadcast on Afghanistan's Voice of Sharia radio. "This is, without a doubt, the most difficult thing I have had to do in my over two decades as a mujahad," said Al Qaeda mastermind and chief operations officer Osama bin Laden in a letter to employees. He added, "Some of these people are my friends, who have been fighting the infidel by my side since we were were living in caves in Afghanistan during the Soviet occupation. We are still living in caves in Afghanistan, but I believe the bottom is forming and we will see a turnaround soon, provided we can meet the challenge by getting both leaner AND meaner."
"I have declared a state of emergency at Al Qaeda," he said. "This declaration is an official recognition that, hard as it may be to accept, our network's very survival depends on dramatic change to our operations, our jihad and worst of all our staffing levels." The cuts, bin Laden said, would include both mujahadin (holy warriors) and ulema (clerics). They will impact Afghanistan, Pakistan and Iraq. Some mujahadin will be notified immediately, others won't be notified until the end of next week as they finish attacks in progress or in late stages of planning, according to Taliban spokesman Wakil Ahmed. Staff cuts for suicide pilots, car bombers, petty religious clerics and other Al Qaeda holy warriors will be based on seniority, Ahmed said, in a deal worked out at a meeting between bin Laden and union officials from the IBIJ (International Brotherhood of the Islamic Jihad).

Mujahadin and others who lose their jobs will not receive any sort of severance package, according to the Al Qaeda statement. Pakistan, which oversees Al Quaeda and its subsidiary Taliban organization, is the world's largest country with a pre-medieval culture and justice system. The country's latest quarterly report said the different units of the Al Qaeda/Taliban organization, including the madrassas (schools Pakistan has been running for twenty years to turn ordinary children into suicidal holy warriors) had at total of 30,000 employees, meaning the cut represents a 16 percent reduction in staff. Al Qaeda is the latest in a string of Islamic terror network layoff announcements, pushing the total of announced cuts in the Last five days to 10,000.

Referring to massive U.S. troop movements involving three carrier Groups in the Mediterranean and Arabian Sea, worried Afghani ulemas in testimony during the emergency sharia council in Khandahar on Thursday told their spiritual leader Mullah Mohammed Omar that the number is likely to cross the 20,000 threshold in the coming days, through attrition, with none of the expected openings slated to be refilled. OIC (Organization of the Islamic Conference) and bin Laden are considering spending billions on emergency aid to the industry, distributed through a vast network of corrupt Saudi emirs, international prostitution rings and drug smugglers. The current exchange rate is approximately 100,000 afghanis to the dollar. The PLO announced Tuesday it will reduce its workforce by 200 to 300 sleeper agents worldwide by end of 2002 at its commercial bus bombing division and restaurant theater operations.

[Wardad]

Down To The Old Pub Instead
A good old Irish song.

http://www.whatarerecords.com/oldpub

[Wardad]

http://www.thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=873

http://www.thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=387

http://www.thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=566

http://www.thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=236

http://www.thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=662

[ March 24, 2003, 19:08: Message edited by: Wardad ]