Game: Dawn of War

[Rytek]

What, you did manange to kill my witch/foulspawn thug! I was very upset by her death. It amuses me to kill your powerful F9 blessed giants with my fireflies and Ants.

[jimkehn]

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Well, if you'd stop putting my eye(s) out, maybe I could stand there and fight fair.

I think most people underestimate those fireflies. That's a pretty powerful spell for requiring only a level 1 mage. I have killed a lotta Pretenders with a Druid and a load a gems and swarm scripted. This was mostly in Arena matches. where there are no other outside circemstances.

It IS funny though to watch those big dumb drooling ancient ones spew out a steady stream of red damage numbers out the top their head while they swing blindly and miss at those pesky magical gnats!!!

HAHAHAHA!!!

I'll stick around a bit longer just to watch with envy, your Knights. You have done a helluva good job, and I congratulate you on beating an opponent who is far weaker than you!!!!!!

8^)

[Ubercat]

A sad message from the newsdesk.

It is with heavy heart that we must announce the illness of our star reporter, NonBias. Despite taking great care, he was unable to avoid contracting one of the plagues that have rocked the great city of Ulm. Apparently more toads fell recently, denying the city the chance to recover that it so desperately needed.

He didn't consider leaving for an instant. Knowing the danger, he thought only of his public and their need to know the news of the day.

This editor, on behalf of all the staff here, would like to thank the Lt. Governor of Ulm, who has generously offered NonBias a room in the VIP ward of the new hospital which the Governors palace has recently been converted into. The former governor is also ill. With the blessings of his god, Tag Klatu, may the Lt Governor remain healthy.

NonBias was able to send us some information, and vows to continue his reporting until such time as his bed is turned over to another patient. May that day be far off, unless he has a miraculous recovery!

Apparently the bulk of the staff at Ulms prestigious College of Alchaemical research have contracted plagues. They have bravely sworn to continue their work until the fever grows too great and they take to their death beds! It appears that NonBias will have some very interesting ward mates. if he lives long enough, perhaps he can provide us with a fascinating interview.

We have just received word that a small Ulmish army also suffered from the Rain of Toads. It was apparently marching north towards Jotunheim, but we're not certain of it's location or health status. If we receive more accurate information we will let you know.

As always, when you need to know, we will let you know, all there is to know.

J. Jonah JesterSon
-Editor in Chief

[Ubercat]

Interesting developments from the Ulm-Jotun war of late. Tag Klatu dispatched a sub force from his siege of Jotunheim to grab more land. Apparently it seemed a reasonable strategy since the siegers could not break through. Unfortunately for the warlord, Jotunheim ambushed it with an army which Ulm apparently hadn't known existed. The attackers were defeated with heavy losses and it became clear that he would have to abandon the siege if he expected to send a large enough force to expand further.

Meanwhile, an as yet undisclosed enemy launched a raid on one of Ulms southern forts. Things are getting interesting for the ambitious conqueror.

Ulm was looking at some good news when her capital was spared from the Toads for an entire month, but celebrations were premature. After raining on two other forts the little croakers returned to Ulm. One definite bit of good news for Tag. A Jotun raid was defeated in its entirety. That pack of wolves will not be attacking again!

Neutralo - Freelance Reporter

[Ubercat]

An update from Jotunheim

I was finally able to penetrate the besieged fortress. Let me say it was not an easy feat. Over 300 Ulmish troops have the city firmly surrounded. I dressed up as an oil boy and gradually made my way closer to the wall while responding to one "Oilcan!" request after another. After nightfall I slipped into the city, welcomed by the gracious guards once I identified myself.

I was quite surprised at what I found. I had expected the town to be full of hungry giants. I was even fearful of ending up in a cookpot myself. It seems however that despite needing prodigious amounts of food, the giants were well fed! It appears that they wisely made preparations for a siege by securing a plentiful supply of magic broth! I don't know what exactly is magical about it; in fact the giants seem to be getting a little tired of it. But it does keep their bellies full.

As for the fighting, I saw no action except some streams of fire shooting from the walls and into the surrounding Ulmish horde. I can only surmise that a few troops may have been incinerated.

I will continue to keep you posted from my current vantage point. I don't want to risk having to explain to the Ulmish troops why I was in the city. Press credentials only go so far!

- Neutralo

[Ubercat]

From the Newsdesk...

Hello everybody. Today we have a special guest in the studio to do some expert strategic analysis for us. Eldred served in the elite Aquilonian Black Dragons during the last Pict war, so he definitely knows a thing or two about strategy!

Jonah: Eldrad, why don't you start by telling us what you see as the big picture for this Ulm-Jotunheim war?

Eldrad: Well Jonah, I can't see this ending well for Ulm. Tag Klatu has committed the best army he has, in fact the only real army Ulm has, to a fruitless siege of the Jotun capital. He's losing valuable lands, err hehe.. I should say waters.. to another foe, but he doesn't want to lose face by abandoning the siege. In fact...

Jonah: That's very interesting. We in the studio have been trying to figure out what started this war in the first place. We haven't had any luck. Could you shed any light on the origins of the war for us?

Eldred: You redirected me from my point, to put me on my point! As I was just starting to say, it is ironic that this war started over Ulms fear of Jotun naval power. Some months ago..

Jonah: Wait. You're telling me that Tag feared that the giants would invade Ulm by sea? That must be what you mean because Jotunheim had no land routes to reach them.

Eldred: That's exactly what I mean. And the greatest irony is that Ulm went to all that trouble to get to Jotunheim by land, and now is losing territory to a real naval power!

Jonah: Fascinating... Oh.. I see that we're out of time. Thank you for your time in giving this interview. It was nice to meet you!

Eldred: Thank you Jonah. It was a pleasure!

Jonah: And to the rest of you, good morning and good luck!

J. Jonah Jesterson

Editor in chief

[archaeolept]

hmmm i don't think i've ever cast eyes of god even in an
SP game; I guess I didn't think it did much.

I am hereby pleased to report that I was correct

I guess if I were raiding a distant foe with teleporters, it would have its use. As it is, I can see who has what and who is sieging what. Man is sieging an agarthan castle; Arcos machaka; and Ulm has grabbed the lands around jot's capital.

[Tequilich]

Atlantis breaks our NAP with Mictlan and joins a Holy Alliance with Man to rid the world of Mictlan. We urge all other nations to join our crusade before Mictlan walks alway with the game. Any nations that take hostilities against Man shall suffer from Atlantean raids.

Also nice to see the giants free thier homeworld from Ulmish control.

[jimkehn]

Well, the next month will be the last month of existance for the peace loving peoples of Agartha. 8^) Agartha's Sunday School classes were only out hunting Easter Eggs when they accidentally crossed into Man's territories. Man slaughtered those children on that dark day, and would not stop until he caused the extinction of a whole race of pacifists. Shooting down children with professional longbowmen. Trampling old women under hoof of the vaunted Knights of Avalon. A dark day in the annals of "Dawn of War".

Congrats Rytek. You won this one seven ways to Sunday. In spite of the role playing rhetoric above, you were an honorable and noble opponent who destroyed your enemy....me!!! 8^) Good job and good luck with the rest of the game.


P.S. I honestly still don't recall having a NAP with you. But.....you are probably right. The memory is the second thing to go, ya know....

[Rytek]

Once, the peoples of argatha were peace loving. Then their minds were twisted with hate under the yoke of their false god, a Moloch from the very bowels of hell itself. The armies of man have labored mightly to free the peace loving Argathanians from the grip of the very devil itself. Soon your people shall know the peace and prosperity of of the Lord of Man.

That battle at your fortress went very well for me. Your casters really had it out for those trolls. They really couldnt have picked a worse target for you to inflict some casulties with. Regenerating trolls with lots of hits soak fire clouds and magma bolts much better than the knights or men at arms would have.

I believe you did forget our NAP and hold no hard feelings at all. I just role play it as your Evil Moloch was the perpertraitor. Also, when you attacked me you were at a disadvantage nation vs nation wise. Though you had an outstanding plan with that darkness and the elephants. I think your only flaw was attacking the swamp fort in the winter with your cold blooded guys. Too many players forget to take terrain and weather into consideration.. your blessed cold blooded guys were over 10 burden due to the swamp and cold penalty. Throw in 6 or 7 swarms of bugs and your guys were at 70+ fatigue when the knights sallied forth... of course your death mage using up all of his gems on the 20 PD of the castle was also huge. next time give him only enough to cast darkness and give the rest to a commander who cant cast spells.

Good luck in your next game. You were a worthy opponent.