You know there was a time when I could not wait for fall and winter to get here. To have it get dark by 5pm and stay dark until after 8am. But now I really dislike this time of year for that very reason. I don't know if it is because I now find the darkness to be depressing, rather than comforting, or if I am finally growing out of something that has shrouded my life for over five years now.
I like the light, I really do. I now hate staying up all night whereas I used to thrive on it. I want to be out and about during the day rather than hiding in my cave waiting for the darkness to come.
I fear that now that the dark season is upon us, I will fall back into that pit of despair that I have literially just clawed my way out of and won't be able to get back out.
Then again it could just be that now that I want to be out and about, the darkness cuts into my day thus making it seem like there is no time to do anything except sit in front of the PC and type tangent posts.
Where I used to love the darkness, I now find myself fearing it. This is going to be an interesting next few months. (Also it was a year ago this month that I lost my best friend. I think that has to do a lot with how I feel right now.)
Momma Kitty
1992 - 2004