Jokes and Riddles Centre

[narf poit chez BOOM]

ARGH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT

um. HEY, THERE'S NOTHING ON MY LEG!

*whacks Jack with one of his shiny hammers and then the other on the other side of Jack's head.

[Jack Simth]

*holds head for a bit*

Hey now! Don't make me sore for beating you to the punchline!

[Atrocities]

*****HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION BULLETIN*****
MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET NO. EZ36C-24-36
"WOMAN" A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS

Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam

Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 kg; may vary from 40-200 kg.
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas, concentrations noted in and around malls.

Physical properties:

1. Surface usually covered in painted film
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without any known reason
3. Melts if given special treatment
4. bitter if used incorrectly
5. Exists naturally in various states: ranges from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields to pressure at correct points

Chemical properties:

1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3. may explode spontaneously with no warning and for no reason
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly after saturation in alcohol
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man

Common uses:
1. Highly ornamental, particularly in sports cars
2. Can be a great aid in relaxation
3. Very effective cleaning agent

Tests:
1. Pure specimens turn rosy pink in their natural state
2. Turns green when placed besides a better specimen

Potential hazards:

1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations provided specimens do not come into direct contact with one another

****WARNING*************WARNING*************WARNIN G****
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE PHYSICAL, MENTAL, AND FINANCIAL DAMAGE

[ July 22, 2003, 06:51: Message edited by: Atrocities ]

[narf poit chez BOOM]

it wasn't the punchline, it's a riddle. and i hit you for making me panic. and remember: cartoon weapons - cartoon damage. recovering only takes a few shakes.

[Jack Simth]

Are you sure it's a riddle? I've heard a lot of variations on it as a joke, with exactly that same punchline. I suppose there isn't any reason one type of setup can't have multiple desired results, so it could be both, couldn't it?

[Atrocities]

Ok lets see if I can do this correctly.

3 men rent a room at a local hotel
The hotel owner charges each man $10.00 for a total of $30.00 for the night
Later the hotel owner decides to cut the men a break and gives the Bellhop $5.00 and tells him to give it to the men.
The Bellhop decides to keep $2.00 for himself and gives each man $1.00 back.
This now means that each man paid $9.00 for his part of the room. $9.00 x 3 men = $27.00 + the $2.00 the Bellhop kept comes to a grand total of $29.00. What happend to the Last $1.00?

I know the answer to this riddle so it can be answered. Have fun.

[Kamog]

Originally posted by narf poit chez BOOM:
now, what has two wings, six eyes and eight legs?

A dog and two humans in an airplane?

[narf poit chez BOOM]

that's an answer.

*gives kamog a medal*

[Jack Simth]

Originally posted by Atrocities:
Ok lets see if I can do this correctly.

3 men rent a room at a local hotel
The hotel owner charges each man $10.00 for a total of $30.00 for the night
Later the hotel owner decides to cut the men a break and gives the Bellhop $5.00 and tells him to give it to the men.
The Bellhop decides to keep $2.00 for himself and gives each man $1.00 back.
This now means that each man paid $9.00 for his part of the room. $9.00 x 3 men = $27.00 + the $2.00 the Bellhop kept comes to a grand total of $29.00. What happend to the Last $1.00?

I know the answer to this riddle so it can be answered. Have fun.

Nothing - it's a counting problem. After the $5 rebate, the total charge was $25. The belhop added a $2 tip on top of that, resulting in the $27 figure (which matches - each renter paid $10, and got $1 back, resulting in each paying $9 overall). Adding the $2 back into the number to bring it up to $29 is counting the belhop's cut twice - you can't do that, so we still stand at $27. The Last $1.00 went to the renters, as did two others.

[ July 22, 2003, 07:09: Message edited by: Jack Simth ]

[narf poit chez BOOM]

3 men rent a room at a local hotel
The hotel owner charges each man $10.00 for a total of $30.00 for the night
Later the hotel owner decides to cut the men a break and gives the Bellhop $5.00 and tells him to give it to the men.
The Bellhop decides to keep $2.00 for himself and gives each man $1.00 back.
This now means that each man paid $9.00 for his part of the room. $9.00 x 3 men = $27.00 + the $2.00 the Bellhop kept comes to a grand total of $29.00. What happend to the Last $1.00?

30 men
5 bellhop
3 split to men
2 split to bellhop
25 what it would have been after the deduction
3 what was the deduction
28 what it was after the deduction
2 what the bellhop got
30 the total

it works there. i'm not sure why it doesn't work in your example.

aw. Jack got there first.

[ July 22, 2003, 07:09: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]