Jokes and Riddles Centre - Page 65

tesco samoa · #**641** February 29th, 2004, 11:33 PM

http://www.butn.net/datoteke/toilette.mpg

Maybe not safe for work...

But very funny

Ruatha · #**642** March 1st, 2004, 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by geoschmo:

quote:
Originally posted by Ragnarok:

quote:
Originally posted by Kamog:
Hmm, I have never seen an eel cross a road. Do they come up on land to do that?

No, sea cretures have roads as well. Have you not seen Sponge Bob Square Pants yet?
You ever notice how in Spongebob they always make such a big deal about flying? I mean, they are all fish living under water. They ought to be able to swim, right? All the fish in an airplane flying over bikini bottom, but it's still under water so why do they need a plane? It doesn't make any sense.

Geoschmo

Even weirder.
When they go to the beach and bath.
There is a beach and water to bath in.... under water!

narf poit chez BOOM · #**643** March 1st, 2004, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Wardad:
More Bushisms... TRUTH or SPAM?

one things that must be considered is that is that many of us, by us i mean peoples, say some prized funnies.

and when your a politician on campaign, you say a lot of things, so the chance of a slip-up is greater. so, what must be considered is not how many stupid things he said, but the rate of stupid things he said.

i don't want to get this thread into a discussion of politics, i just wanted to point out statistical unreliability.

narf poit chez BOOM · #**644** March 2nd, 2004, 03:22 AM

hmm...
hmm...

[ March 02, 2004, 01:50: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

narf poit chez BOOM · #**645** March 5th, 2004, 01:27 AM

this is good for a couple chuckles:

this is also really good

this is gotta be a classic of some kind: DM: Are you sure you really want to scout the Troll forest alone, in the middle of the night, without a torch?
PC: Yes!

[ March 04, 2004, 23:58: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]

Puke · #**646** March 5th, 2004, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ruatha:
Even weirder.
When they go to the beach and bath.
There is a beach and water to bath in.... under water!

things like that will probably be a real detriment to how kids view oceanography. kids these days think that military vehicles have forceshields for gods sake. when i was 5 or 10, i knew what was fantasy and what wasnt. of course, the news wasnt pure infotainment at that point in time, and my parents would talk to me about real stories in the paper.

its pretty sad that we let cartoons shape the worldview of the youth today, because its easier than truely interacting with your own kids.

Wardad · #**647** March 6th, 2004, 05:02 AM

A lady walked into a Lexus dealership to browse, and spotted the most beautiful, perfect "loaded" Lexus-and walked over to inspect it closer.As she bent forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little burst of flatulence escaped her.

Very embarrassed, she anxiously looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Sure enough, there standing behind her was a salesman. With a pleasant smile he greeted her, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?" Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing had happened, she smiled back and asked, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?" Still smiling pleasantly, he replied, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say that if you farted just touching it, you are gonna s**t when you hear the price.

narf poit chez BOOM · #**648** March 6th, 2004, 11:40 AM

Ayup.

Wardad · #**649** March 6th, 2004, 03:52 PM

1.The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.

3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.

4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.

5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.

6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is GOLF.

CONCLUSION....

The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become

Wardad · #**650** March 6th, 2004, 07:53 PM

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the medical director became aware of Edna's heroic act, he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.

When he went to tell Edna the news he said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness."

"The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself; I put him there to dry. So, how soon can I go home?"