Kim Jong Il invades (in his own words)

[themattcurtis]

Harro! In this scenario, I, the AI take the role of the grrrorrrrriouusss Korean People’s Army in the SPMBT scenario “King Jong Il invades”…..pretty nifty, huh?

I find myself facing that incompetent imperialist swine Matt Curtis, who has deruded himself into thinking that by October of 2003, his ROK and Japanese Self Defense Force buffoons stand any chance of defeating the revolutionary armed wing of the People’s Party…… MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

The battlefield (itself irrelevant as I win wherever I go) sees a piddly rittle company of South Korean infantry armed with LAWs, assault rifles and 7.62mm machine guns sitting along a highway running north to south.

The road is bordered by one and two-story structures to either side, and is hedged to the west by a N-S river, while to the east we have some hills.

Down to the southeast there’s an industrial park, accessed by a road that runs west until it hits a bridge crossing the river.

Most of those FOOLS are watching the northern edge of the map. There’s maybe a pratoon acting as the first rine of defense, with a bunch of mama’s boys behind them sobbing into their kimchi.

Their first sign of trouble is when a lone BRDM armored car tries to push its way through that northern line, only to take a 66mm M-72 rocket up the A--.

But that’s ok, I never riked him anyway.

[themattcurtis]

Now doom on them! As an artirrery barrage from my brand new 2s3 152mm howitzers starts browing the riving hell out of the ROK positions. Boo de hoo hoo hoo.

That stupid LAW team that killed my armored car tries to run for it, only to get mowed down by machine gun fire from an advancing corumn of M-1985, Type 59 and T-62M main battle tanks comin’ down that road.

But that’s where everything goes to pieces, because the infantry squads immediately behind that position get all pissy watching their friends get chopped into hamburger and pop smoke, obscuring our rine of sight down the highway. THEN they start ambushing my tanks as they try to advance.

[themattcurtis]

Why are my tank crews so f---ing stupid!?!?!

Rook at these things! They kick total a--, and now I’ve lost three on the road just to a bunch of ROK sissy-boys. And all that Matt Curtis has lost is a LAW team and a couple of casualties to his first rifle squad.

[themattcurtis]

That SUCKS! And now he has a pratoon of Type 90 MBTs and a platoon of Japanese infantry in Type 96 APCs wingin’ their way through that industrial park.

Two of those tanks take overwatch positions on the road reading into town (they have clear LOS to the hill we’ve taken on the western flank), and they’re shooting at a platoon of Type 59s I sent there to claim a VL.

One….two….three are gone in a couple of minutes.
GO-D---IT!!!!!

He even has one Type 90 racin up the N-S road to support his front rine infantry just when I’m starting to make some progress. Two of those squads are running for cover, but the last squad from that platoon and its HQ element are still holding on.

I’ve lost FIVE tanks on the friggin road. And the smoke is so thick, my vehicles are gonna be picked off one by one I know what I’ll do, I’ll try to frank that front rine with a pratoon of BTR-80s.

Where did I get BTR-80s? Wouldn’t you like to know? Screw you Rarry Bond! You wrote that stupid book and now everyone thinks our stuff is like really, really old.

[themattcurtis]

NO NO NO NO NO!
My APC drivers are dumbasses, too.
One goes right down the road, right down it! And eats a LAW.

Two more try to hit that first pratoon in their frank and get blown to pieces by the overwatching Type 90s, (he’s now got two platoons of those things). They’re still killing my guys on that hill.

I even see one of my self-propelled guns go rorring right up to an occupied house. Like that’ll work. And while my dismounted infantry are getting shot down in the street, that thing blows up too.

The only good news is I’ve finally dispersed one of the squads in that first platoon. But so what? So what?

[themattcurtis]

But what’s this? Tee hee hee. MiG 29s!! Rarry Bond never saw that coming. And all Matt Curtis can do is watch them drop 500kg bombs on that Type 90 platoon whuppin’ up on my hill.

[themattcurtis]

What do you mean no effect? No effect?

Oh well, at reast one of those Type 96s stuck its nose out and got blown to bits by an ATGM. That makes me happy. Everyone likes it when Kim Jong Il is happy.

But now ALL my BTR-80s are gone. And Matt is pushing his first tank platoon through open ground.

All my stuff goes boom boom boom. And we don’t kill one tank. Not one stupid tank!

[themattcurtis]

I give up. Normally all Matt gets is a Marginal Victory. But not today. Oh no, today he wipes out the equivalent of an armored battalion and suffers 13 casualties.

13 CASUALTIES!

Go away. Reave me arone

[themattcurtis]

I love hypothetical Korean scenarios (used to be stationed in Japan, had friends stationed in Korea), and I have "Team America: World Police" on DvD. I couldn't resist.

Sorry for that
Matt

[Marek_Tucan]

Seems Dear Leader got his buttocks kicked well here How many officers were then executed to make him happy again?