OT: Why do we do the things we do?

[Renegade 13]

Why do we do such foolish things? Is it human nature to punish ones self?

Let me give you some background for this rant. I was just at a party, a graduation party. It was outside, we had a big fire going, and we had a lot of people there; probably 30 grads plus about 75 or so other people, mostly between the ages of 16 and 25. And nearly all of them were/are drunk or at the very least drinking. There were very few sober people there.

So there I am, after drinking a bit. It's been a few hours since I had anything to drink, so I'm pretty much sober by this time. One of my friends comes up to me, has me hold her arm while she goes somewhere. No big deal. I'm used to taking care of my drunk friends. So we go where she needed to go, and then we come back to the party. On our way there, we meet up with one of her other friends, a Swiss dude she knows pretty well. Now this guy is a coke head, into all sorts of illegal drugs, you name it. My friend, understandably, isn't happy when she learns that this guy, her friend, was just doing some harsh drugs at the party. One thing leads to another, harsh words are spoken, and my friend ends up sitting in the mud, by a river, crying because of what her druggie friend is doing to himself. I try to comfort her as best I can, but I'm not so good at that kind of thing.

Another friend of mine drank an entire 2-6 of whiskey to himself over the course of about 4 hours. Of course, a 2-6 is the equivalent of 26 drinks...all within 4 hours. So of course he's by this time lying on a wood pile puking his guts out, and I'm there taking care of him as best I can.

My question is simple. Why do we do these things to ourselves? Why do we drink ourselves into oblivion, why do people do drugs, why do we end up hurting the friends that we care about, by our stupid choices and actions? Is there any hope for a generation that grows up like I've described above, is there any way to heal the emotional scars left by such experiences? And most importantly...is there any way to help the ones we care about when they're going through a hard time, due to their own bad choices, or the bad choices of others that have hurt them.

I'm torn. I know these people, I know that they're good people, my friends. But at the same time, they do such stupid things to themselves and others. What can be done? Do I simply have to sit by, and pick up the pieces as best I can? Do I have to agonize late at night like this, and wonder if there's anything I could have done, or could do to make this better for my friends? Do we simply have to stand by, and let these people either kill themselves and others, or grow up, mature?

These are the questions that haunt my nights.

[dogscoff]

If nobody ever did anything stupid, how would we know how stupid it is?

People can't learn from other peoples' mistakes. They have to make them for themselves. That's the story of human history, on the grand scale (politics, wars) and at the individual level. (Your story)

[Randallw]

I despise Alcohol. I'd call myself a teatotaller except that I don't drink Tea, or Coffee for that matter, but anyway, for me the Idea of liking to drink something that can affect your judgement makes no sense. My entire life is controlling myself and so I don't do anything that could affect my self control. That and when I was young, perhaps 10, I drunk all the dredges at my church working bee and so I can't stand the taste or smell of the stuff .

[Gandalf Parker]

I dont see the confusion here. The post is a young party, someone speaks of learning, someone else talks about an early age experience which turned him off of it. Do we see a pattern? Hopefully the party mentioned will be treated as a learning experience instead of a funny story for old age.

As far as Ive ever been able to tell, the entire subject is one of "early experience is bad" either because its overdone or because most of that is just a horrible taste experience for those who have never had it. Just give it to someone new and watch their face as they try to force themselves to drink it.

The only reason anyone gets past it to the point that it "tastes good" or "I find it enjoyable" is peer pressure. As far as I can see, someone else in some sort of category, is always the reason for someone becoming a drinker.

The same seems to hold true for many things. IMHO
Gandalf Parker

[narf poit chez BOOM]

People also drink because of pain in their life. Being drunk is easier than facing the pain.

I had something else, but I got up five minutes ago, and I forgot it.

[PvK]

Different people do that sort of thing for different reasons. In some cases, where they're just being stupid or doing it because they think it's cool, if they care about your opinion of them, you can help by letting them know how stupid you think it is.

PvK

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Although maybe not using the word 'stupid'. Most people tend to get counter-aggresive when they hear that. If you do use it, maybe limit it to their actions.

And if you find a fool-proof way of giving people good advice, please, tell me.

[Starhawk]

Well I was drunk twice before the age of 18 both times I was alone the first time I got drunk I was just curious about how alcohol would actually effect me I downed about eight shots of vodka/burboune and ended up crawling to my room, fortunately I am not a puker it takes a LOT to make me vommit, unfortunately that seemed to make the hangover in the morning like 10 times worse, but I was able to convince my parents taht I was sick and so they pretty much left me alone.

The second time I got drunk was exactly BECAUSE I was alone I was depressed and heartbroken so I downed an entire coffee mug full of some kind of booz or another I can't even remember anymore but anyway I got out a knife I used on models for cutting away extra plastic and I took it to my left wrist fortunately because I was drunk my hands were shaking so bad and my vision was so blurry I only nicked myself and fortunately got caught by my mother before I figured some other way to hurt myself.

Well anyway I decided after that experience and considering the fact that I think alcohol is absolutely disgusting I had best keep as much distance between me and any sort of booz as possible.

[Thermodyne]

Man how times change. In my teens (mid 70's), I lived on Miller Beer. A lot of people I knew were into wobble weed, but beer was the joy of my life. $10 would get me a case of beer and a tank of gas.

[Starhawk]

Well all alcohol has ever caused me is pain and further depression so yeah times have apparently changed though I know a lot of teens between 15-17 that get drunk or high just about every other day one of them was a 16 year old girl I worked with who had a 2 year old son.

BTW doing the math she got knocked up at 13 gave birth at 14.