Completely AZ: Little Help?

[AgentZero]

As some of you may, or may not, have noticed, I haven't been around here very much. I've been going through a rather rough period in my personal life that eventually resulted in a visit to my GP, which led to a psychiatric referal, which in turn led to an eventual diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia.
I've been put on medication, & am seeing a therapist fairly often & seem to be getting better, but I'm at the point now where I have to tell my friends & family about it. I know there's a good few people around here with experience (personal or otherwise) of similar conditions and I was just wondering if they had any advice on that? Things to avoid saying are my main concern, since what I now understand to be dellusions caused me to do things that have really upset some people that are close to me and explaining this to them is going to be hard enough and I'm just worried I'll end up saying something that makes it worse.
So... to repeat the subject line, little help?

[Raging Deadstar]

Hey AZ.

I've sent you a PM.

[dogscoff]

Wow... sorry to hear about you being ill. Good that you're getting better though, so many people struggle on with these things for years without ever getting diagnosed, to the point where they can't ever get their lives back. You will probably have downs as well as ups, but keep with the meds and the counselling.

As for informing people... that's hard. In some cases it may be that the best way to do it is by writing letters. No-one can interrupt you or divert the course of the conversation with a letter, so that way you can say exactly what you want/ need to say and no more, no less. If you do this, I'd advise writing the letter(s), putting it aside for a day or two, and then re-reading them before sending them, just to make sure you've said everything exactly as you meant to. I know you to be very fluent and articulate when writing, so I very much doubt you'd be able to give anyone the wrong idea in a letter, but if you're really worried about it get someone you really trust and who already knows about your condition (counsellor?) to read the letter as well before sending.

As for things to avoid saying, well I guess it depends on the people you are dealing with. Obviously you know better than I do how they will react, but in most cases the only thing to avoid saying would be anything untrue. Keep to the important stuff though, unnecessary details will just complicate matters, and you can always bring them up some other time if need be. Acknowledge anything you've done that's hurtful, explain why it happened and why it won't happen again. If necessary, explain anything that you think the other person needs to change if you think they are partly at fault, or give them some 'warning signs' to look out for that might indicate that you're having a bad day/ not yourself.

And don't worry too much. People can be very understanding about things like this, especially if they've known and liked you for a long time. Some people may even surprise you in this regard. If you've just started behaving differently recently, then they'll probably be relieved to find out the reason behind it and to hear that the 'old you' is on the way back.

Oh, I've also heard that writing can be very therapeutic. Why not nip over to the HifH thread somewhen soon?

[Caduceus]

As the resident board physician, I empathize with both you and your family and friends. This is a very difficult disease to control.

One of the biggest problems I see with patients, when I was in medical school in psychiatric wards and as an out-patient clinician now, is denial. Patients will ignore symptoms that they know perfectly well are returning symptoms when either they stop taking their medication (usually because they feel better off them or their psychoses/delusions have resolved) or the medication needs to be adjusted in some way.

Contact your psychiatrist/physician early. If things aren't right for a few days, let them know. They may do nothing, schedule a follow-up or see you in the office.

The point is, nobody (family, friend, yourself, your doctor(s)) want you doing something to yourself or someone else when you truly are not in your right mind. You are your best advocate.

This holds true for other illnesses - depression, diabetes, etc. Take ownership of your problem, keep a journal, write episodes on a calendar, take that to your visits and sessions to talk about.

Paranoid schizophrenia may be a lifelong disorder, but you shouldn't give up.

PM if you need more info.

Chris McWhorter, M.D.

[Renegade 13]

I'm really sorry to hear about that. But I do know that, as Dogscoff said, people can be very understanding. I know that people who know you and who are close to you, they'll understand. I don't think it'll be as easy as you think for you to say something that'll make things worse. But, again as Dogscoff said, writing may be the easiest and most sure-fire way to be sure of what you want to say.

Most of all, know that you will have the support of those close to you. They will understand.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

Well, I've got schiziophrenia, major depression and a touch of paranio, so...

Anyway, one important thing is to learn the 'feel' of thoughts that are irrational and learn to block that out.

I don't know if you're religious, but praying helps a lot for me.

Pills - Get in the habit of taking them, no matter what. Absolutly the first thing I do in the morning is stagger over to my pills and take them. *Then* I have a drink, go to the bathroom, etc.

Stress will do bad things to your sanity. Learn to recognize stress, and find some way to relax.

In relation to that, you also won't be able to do as much as you could before. Don't try, not yet. Sometimes, you will, but a lot of times, you're going to have to accept doing less than you could before.

A pet - You may already have one, but if you don't, consider getting one. Pets provide non-stressfull interaction - And you'll probably find interacting with people to get stressfull sometimes.

[Randallw]

Actually I do have a bit of helpful advice. It might work only for me, but when I start to feel nervous, or "Freaking out" as I call it, I find a nice lie in a hot bath does wonders to calm me down.

[AgentZero]

I'd like to thank you all for your advice & support. I do rather wish the rest of my friends were as understanding. I had a sit down with my housemates last night where I explained what had been going on, since they had been worried about me. Afterwards, I left them for a couple hours to talk it over amongst themselves, and when I came back I found they'd come to the conclusion that they didn't feel comfortable having me in the house anymore and want me to move out. I explained to them that I wasn't dangerous & that the lies that had so upset them were a symptom of the illness (to put it simply). Unfortunately, they're sticking to their original decision.
I've decided to head back to Canada, since I don't really have anywhere else to go. Fortunately, my family was a lot more supportive, & are doing all they can to help me get home. My sister, who is good friends with a couple of the housemates, said she'd have a word with them to see if she could get them to give me a bit more time, at least enough to get whatever records & need off the doctors & get all my stuff boxed up.
Still, all in all, I think it's a pretty crappy ending to my time living in Ireland.



PS: Anybody have any ideas on shipping a computer overseas?

[dogscoff]

Wow, that sucks AZ. Can't you find somewhere else to live? Still, if they don't understand and aren't prepared to give you a chance then maybe you're better off without them.

As for shippign the PC: If it's not a state of the art wowbox I'd rwecommend taking the hard drive out, selling the rest of the hardware, then using the money to buy a new home for your HD when you reach your destination.

[Annette]

I'm so sorry. Please believe it will get better and all things for a reason. Isn't that what keeps us going?