Please Read

[Atrocities]

Please Read.

I just wanted to start a thread and talk about us, the people who post here in this forum.

Over the years many people have come to this forum and stayed not because of the games, oh sure that lead us here, but more so because of the people and the calabur of professionalism of the Posts, and dignity and kindness that was afforded to all.

That dignity and level of open minded professional behavior that has Lasted for so long has recently been underminded by dissenting views and negative argumentative post over certain topics.

Last month I had had enough of it and walked away from the forum fully prepared to never come back. I had posted some things that were out of line, offensive, and simply wrong. It was not my intent to do so but never the less I did. That sparked a huge debate and mud slinging sewer fight that I am ashamed of.

I came to my senses and realized that this place we share, these forums, are our conduit to each other. We post ideas, thoughts, jokes, and a bunch of other interesting topics because we, all of us, enjoy the interaction and comradery that comes from being a member here.

So why have we had so many argumentative, hostile, and even painful discussion about things that we all know nothing good will come from? Why do we let these dark discussion spiral out of control and erupt into heated arguments, not debates, but full blown gutter driven fights?

I honestly don't know why, but I have a theory about it. I feel that over time many of us have become comfortable with other members of this forum and feel free to post what we truly think and feel. By doing so, we have failed to understand that what we post can and most often will be taken the wrong way.

We all need to remember that our words can hurt people even if that was never the intent. When that happens, we then out of pride, stand by those words in an attempt to save face when all we should do is just apologies and walk way.

Many of us, me included, don't step back and look at the big picture, we focus on the topic at hand and go for it. We fixate upon the subject and material of the post and forget all about dignity and professionalism and attack those who have different points of view. Those people in turn do the same and the battle royal is on.

In the end, nothing is accomplished say for hurt feelings and angry members. I almost walked away from this forum because of just such an incident and I know that others have done the same, left the forum over arguments that should never have occurred.

We are after all human, and we all have our own views on world events. But we as a whole, here in this forum, must remember to step back from the debate before it becomes and agreement or this site will fail. People will begin to leave and they will not come back. Shrapnel's Intel forums will suffer from this and so will we all. Why should we allow ourselves to loose one member over something as stupid as a disagreement over a particular topic? No member of this forum is worth losing and all should remember that.

Please consider what it is your about to post and how it will effect others before you post it. If your angry about a post or topic, take a few minutes to calm down and think about what it is your about to post. NOTHING is worth getting angry over if you stop and think about it. If you know that you are not the antagonist why feed the beast? No matter what we say it will not have the intended result. It is my sincere belief that hot topics should be cooled before they are allowed to spiral out of control. The reason for this was made clearly evident by recent threads. They ignited a debate, that debate became an agreement, that argument became a fire storm, and that fire storm became a sewer fight.

Look we are all human, and we all have our buttons that can be pushed from time to time. When someone’s button is pushed, deliberately or by accident, stop pushing it. Just stop.

In the end you will do more good than harm, and hopefully everyone will learn from your example and we all then can avoid losing what we have here.

We are all here for to post and have a good time, so what do you all say to doing that and leave the bitterness and anger out of it.

Thanks for reading this if you have.

[ January 09, 2004, 12:46: Message edited by: Atrocities ]

[Atrocities]

I feel that this is important so I am bumping it.

[primitive]

Good post Atrocities.

Being a heavy contributor in some of the more political threads, I would like to stay this:
I would like to thank all contributors in those threads for sharing their views of the world with me. Although I disagree vehemently with many of you, I have learned a lot from these threads. Please don’t stop posting you sincere opinions, they are appreciated.

[Arkcon]

Atrocities, if you're still reading this, realize that I once felt the same way. I was off these Boards for about 3 months, but I came back, and started giving help to newbies, just like I used to. Make a few dozen shipsets ... then stop by and lurk ... try it repeatedly, and then come back when you feel it's right.

Take care.

[Growltigger]

Good post Atrocities and sensible to boot.

I think we all also have to remember the medium in which we are communicating. Posting requires a good degree of verbal dexterity in order to get one's point across, and certain "emotions", or nuances to a statement (for example, irony) are very hard to get across by posting alone.

Missing these nuances means that it is easier for preople reading the post to misunderstand what was actually intended. Face to face or verbal comminucation tends to avoid this, as we have all developed the ability to "read" the underlying metaphors and spin which people make to their statements.

Worth thinking about, I for one have made inflammatory Posts, even to the extent of flaming one poster mercilessly (but he I recall was trying to get Atrocities' trek site kicked off his server, so maybe I was partially justified on that one. Certainly, he seemed to take umbrage at the PMs I sent him).

[gregebowman]

I for one try to avoid the political threads, mostly for the reasons that Atrocities sited. Everyone has their own opinions, and some people will take no other opinion than their own. I try not to offend anyone, and if I"m making a joke, I try to make sure that everyone knows I'm doing so. I know there was one poster Last year who got upset with me because I mentioned my computer got zapped by lightning maybe a few times too many. But I think that's as far as I've offended anyone that I'm aware of.