OT: Depressing Thought

[Atrocities]

I just came to the depressing realization that I have lost just about everything I have ever truly cared about or loved and only have to look forward to losing even more.

I lost my first new truck, 1988 Toyota 4x4. Lost it in an accident. I lost my first house, sold it because of hard economic times. I lost my first love, because I was young and stupid. I lost my first cat; still don't know what happened there. The list goes on. I miss many of these things and wish that the universe would simply grant me one request; God like powers that would enable me to do whatever I wanted, create whatever I want, bring back whatever I wanted. But that to think this is a dream, and like most dreams, they are just the delusions of the sub conscious mind at work. They are not real, nor will they ever become real. The real reality of life is that nothing Lasts. You never know how much you have until you no longer have it. Oh well, I guess this is why we have a built in fail date. Could you imagine going through time regretting the things that you have lost? Oh what a horrible depressing bummer that would be. No wonder there is only one God now, all of the others committed suicide. Any who, that is just my two cents worth. Back to my dismal depressing life of loss.

Don't get me wrong, I am not like suck on the gun barrel depresed, but rather more along the lines of just down and out over the things I now miss that I once had. Like an awsome job, a place to call my own, love of a nice woman, toys and things. You know, just the same old crap that many of use take for granted until its gone. Oh well, time to shake off these thoughts and go frag some flag runners.

[Instar]

Gee, you sound like me on a bad day. I'm sure your life is worlds better than mine or whatever -- I'd PM you the details but that'd be too depressing.
[tough love follows]
Listen Atrocities, we all gotta be strong. If you let it get you down, you will never get up. You going to stay down? You going to give up? You get back up and throttle life, take what you want, have fun. You define what you are.
You're sad over a truck? And the first love, well, the first one is always the hardest, same for me. The cat, well, my regards. We all want super powers, but only you can grant them to yourself -- you make yourself strong.
[/tough love]
Hopefully that works. If not, tell me to shove it. I won't mind, I don't have feelings left to hurt.

[Atrocities]

Thanks Instar.

It has been one of those text book rotten days for me. I am not like brouding depressed or anything, just more along the lines of laid back depressed. You know, mellowed out and just reflecting. Nothing to serious at the moment. I will take a shower, eat something horribly bad for me, cheese cake, and then put the cats out and go to bed. May be play some Tribes Vengeance before offically retiring for the night. Somehow running around on a map with a bunch of crazy bastards trying to shoot you sooths the soul in a war like yet safe way.

[Instar]

Meh, no problem. As of late I've been kind of an unofficial therapist to a lot of friends (well, just a few).

[Will]

I know where you're coming from. I found that sometimes, thinking of what it would be like if nothing was ever lost at all, gets me out of the bad mood that thinking of loss gets me in. Because if nothing was ever lost, then life would be entirely stagnant, routine, boring... worthless. Life is change, embrace it, even if it can be scary, saddening, whatever.

Oh, and happy birthday in about two minutes.

[Atrocities]

I often think how nice it would be to be so well off financially that I had not a cash worry in the world. Then I look at poeple like Bill Gates and become depressed again. Here is the richest man alive, by all rights a man that can just about buy anything, and he is miserable and cannot even drive a car for fear of lawsuites. This just makes me think, if he, the richest man in the world can't be happy with all that money, then what hope is there for me?

Just some food for thought.

And thanks Will.