The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

OK... but how pneumatic are they (the FBWs)?

(Pneumatic as in the year 649 After Ford. Those who know what I'm talking about will know what I'm talking about.)

[Thermodyne]

Hmmmm…….Could a patron perhaps order something special? Let’s say a hearty side order of Revenge ala Khan? That would be served cold if you recall.

[AgentZero]

Agent Zero strolls in the door, looks around nonchalantly and shudders.
"Ick! It's all so... trendy! And why is there a Praetorian on the barby! Yick!"
With that, the Won Ton begins to shake violently, and a blinding white light begins shining from above. Strangely, outside, the windows are all black, and terrible shapes can be seen moving within the inky shadows. Soon, they grow close enough for their hellish howling to be heard, and the patrons scramble to hide vainley under the tables.

"Wait! Stop! I haven't decided yet!"

At the utterence of the word stop, the light vanishes, the darkness recedes and the heinous minions outside melt away to nothing. Agent Zero stands in the doorway, staring at his hands.
"By all that his holy," he whispers, looking up. "Did I just unleash the combined destructive force of both Heaven AND Hell?"
The look of sheer terror on the faces of the patrons is all the answer he needs. He wanders over to the bar.
"Um, I'm going to need a Galactic Core after that one. And barkeep, make it a double."

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Just as AZ starts on his Galactic Core, a couple of GT's maffioso goons enter the bar armed with - of all available weapons, Ground Cannons, small Torpedoes, small Incinerator beams, small Shield depleters - tommyguns.

The frontmost goon (apparently the leader, as he appears to have an IQ that is actually HIGHER than zero) opens his mouth to say something and is subsequently splattered all over the take-out hut, ruining the Praetorian nicely simmering on the BBQ.

The other goons open up with their trenchbrooms firing randomly into the street outside, ruining a perfectly good building in which someone was just opening a new restaurant. (Darnit! And that just after the last payment!) A screaming noise fills the air as a massive shape comes careening right at the bar from high up in the air. The immense fighter opens up with at least several dozen small Meson Blasters and splatters the rest of the goons all over the street. Then it disappears to a COMCA in orbit.

StrategiaInUltima enters the take-out. "Sorry 'bout the mess. Ordered the pilot to take 'em out any means necessary. One tEEE please, Phong blend."

[AgentZero]

Agent Zero plucks a bit of small intestine out of his Galactic Core and drops it on the bar.
"Of all the hairbrained, suicidal, pointless- GAHHH! I feel an Apocalypse coming on!!!"
Demonic shadow rear out of the floorboards and begin spreading on across the Hut. Still immaterial, they begin slowly to solidify pacing about the place as they eagerly wait to become coporeal so they may wreak bloody vengeance upon all they come across. One of the largest demons eyes Strategia hungrily.
Fortunately, the barkeep quickly plops a replacement Galactic Core, gratis, in front of Zero.
"Ooo! Freebie!"
The shadows slowly recede to whence they came.

[General Woundwort]

Weaving through the destruction outside, a courier bot hovers into the Take-out Hut and drops a package onto the counter.

It smells. Bad. Really bad.

The reason it smells bad is because it contains a rather large - and rather dead - fish. The fish is wrapped in a bulletproof vest, and (even more strange) has a rolled-up copy of the user's guide to MOO3 stuffed in its mouth (obviously, that is what killed it).

Tacked to the fish is a hand-scrawled note.

MR. HUXTABLE - TIME IS RUNNING OUT...

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

AZ: "Of all the freaking threats in the Universe... why oh WHY DID HE HAVE TO BRING MOO3 INTO THIS?!?!?" Shadows enter the place even quicker than before. This time, they're all adorned with MOO3 memorabilia - user's manuals in hands, claws, tentacles, whatnots, copies sticking out of backpacks, vest pockets, sacks to for invertebrates to carry slung around anything, and - worst of all - T-Shirts with MOO3 print... in full color. The same demon eyes Strategia hungrily. He pulls out a weapon and annihilates the demon in a flash of cauterized proto-photons. An even larger one takes its place. He ponders his mistake.

AZ does not seem to notice all of this, still staring wide-eyed at the manual in the fish's mouth. Meanwhile, all the other patrons stare terrified - mortified - at the very embodiment of Hell on Sol III.

The bartender (still need to find someone for that, though - we can't keep referring to him/her/it as "the bartender".) quickly offers one of the more vicious-looking demons a Galactic Core, and this seems to pacify them.

"A new super-weapon," mutters a lesser demon in awe as it steps/sloshes out of the take-out on its three feet and sixty-odd tentacles.

Strategia really begins to worry, as he's been referring to himself in the third person too often lately. He thinks he should make an appointment with the psychiatrist soon. Perhaps one of the new [%PsychicRaceName] psycho-neuro-pathologic-paranoid schizophrenics that have recently been spotted in the streets of the psycho district.

[Jack Simth]

A commotion is heard amongst the demons outside. The patrons look out the window, and see a rather pale man walking towards the bar. There's a 15-ft radius around him completely free of demons. The reason soon becomes clear as he continues to apporach the bar - any demon that enters that radius immediately dies; some drop, some blow away in a puff of smoke, some simply fade out, but none remain. When he gets to the door, he doesn't bother opening it - he simply continues to walk right on through, and passes through the door without damaging it. Once inside, people notice something else - he's slightly transparent. He then blinks, takes on a more solid appearence, and orders a white dwarf at the bar. He doesn't quite get why so many people start to crowd him.....

[AgentZero]

Agent Zero looks over and the recent arrival and grins rather lopsidedly (as one would expect from someone who's ingested two Galactic Cores in the last few hours). A large crowd has gathered around Jack Smith, ostensibly due to the fact that demons do not seem fond of his aura. However, no one seems to have noticed the Archangel Gabriel standing by Jack's shoulder. Zero chuckles quietly.

"Silly rabbit, Tricks are for kids- I mean, Fools! I've got both sides doing as I say!"

WHAM!

Bodies go flying everywhere, and Jack Smith sails clear across the Won Ton, ricochets off the Sallega tank and smacks into the Praetorian grill with a sickening crunch. Strategia races to Jack's side and begins waving smelling salts in front of his nose.
Meanwhile, Agent Zero leaps to his feat and glares angrily at Gabriel, who stares abashedly at his angelic feet.

"DO! WHAT! I! SAY! DID I SAY DO THAT! WHAT I SAY! WHAT- Hold on, I gotta wizz."

Hours pass....

"-I! SAY! Now go to your room and think about what you did!"

Gabriel obediantly rises towards the heavens. Zero stumbles over to Jack, holds up three fingers and asks Jack how many he sees.
"Eight," comes the immediate reply.
Zero studies his hand for a few moment. "Correct. Now. I'm gonna have another wizz, then I'm going back to the Bar & Grill for a while. Too loud in here. And turn down those lights!"

As he departs, a cold shiver runs through the Won Ton patrons, for they are all thinking the same thing. Soon... In a matter of hours, the man who controls the powers of both celestial light and darkness... Is going to have a hangover.

[RudyHuxtable]

I, Rudy Huxtable, proprietor and owner of the The Intergalactic Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut, am proud to announce the addition of a Pool Room (including 400 tables of both Terran pool and 4D Xiati pool).

We will also four different atmosphere rooms in the coming weeks. Our resident Hydrogen breathers can... "breathe easy!"... GET IT?!... knowing they'll have a room of their own in the Hut. Methane lovers will be able to sit in their own stinky chamber and chat about the scores of the 708th Cross Galaxy Rugby tournament!

I'd also like you to meet our ever sexy and incredibly talented wait staff:

Mindy (hot, Terran)
Cindy (hot, Terran)
Darlene (hot, Terran)
Marlene (hot, Terran)
GRGLECK (hot for a Xi-Chung)
Brick (a stunning Phong, doesn't approve of some of the Phong dishes, however)

and Hank, the bartender (not hot, Terran)


Also, investors welcome to help outfit the arcade room!

Sincerely,

Rudy Huxtable
Proprietor

The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut