You Might Be A Fat Emperor If:

[Atrocities]

The Last time you were seen naked, those who saw you went blind.
When you take a deep breath, you suck all the oxygen out of the air on your planet.
If your people have installed a back up beeper on your *** just in case.
When ever you are seen in public, the local robots begin yelling "DANGER DANGER DANGER."
If Lions hiss at you then runaway scared to death. ("He's goin'a eat me!")
You have ever depleted your empires national supply of cream custard in one swallow.
You have ever had to buy all of the seats on a world ship when traveling.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

The reason revolts give you indigestion, - is because this Universe is a morsel of food that's stuck in your appendix.

An Organic race believes you are a Sphereworld and send a colony ship up your ***. It was never heard from again.

An Organic race believes you are a Sphereworld and send a colony ship in your mouth. You like the taste so much, that you order the conquest of the race and then make them your master ship engineers (i.e. chefs.).

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

You arrest the Fremen for using the Spice for something other than a means to make your food taste better.

You dissolve the Spacing Guild for using more Spice than you did up to date.

You order the capture of any forum members with a pic that looks like something edible.

You order the arrest of all other forum members for NOT having a pic of something that looks edible.

You instruct McAfee to modify the anti-virus programs to automatically delete the Mushuns Sporacy when found, or else!

When your ships want armor, they simply liposuct some body fat away from you and slap it on their hull. Last report was that an unarmed scout with just a centimetre of emperor-fat armor successfully rammed and destroyed a battlemoon without suffering any damage.

New intelligent life froms start evolving from your liposucted body fat as soon as it's out of your body.

One year later, you go to Rigelon IV again, and contract an even more vicious flesh eating disease. The doctors STILL give you 37 years to live.

First Contact with crystalline races always makes you wonder: "I wonder how big my plates could be if I let them manufacture them..."

Psychic races cannot penetrate your skull with their telepathic powers.

Ancient races start building a generation ship to get the hell out of here at the start of the game.

Pirates thrive under your rule. They can intercept any ship they want, as long as they deliver all the food they capture to you.

You conquer Temporal Manipulation races so they can condense time around your farms to make production go unbeleivably faster, at one harvest per second... and STILL you're hungry.

One month later, you need a BIG ringworld to keep your pants up.

One month after that, you need the total length of a Triple-Molly to keep your pants up.

You encompass several system.

You don't have blood vessels... you have blood WARP POINTS.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

The Mushuns Sporacy is in fact a tiny part of your foot fungus that escaped.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

You created the warp points when you were a kid. You had small elastic bands (about 1000 km long) and you stretched them as far as you could without breaking them. This phased the bands into a subspace realm, fixing them in place and making travel through the possible.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Is this thread still alive?

[Azselendor]

If you can swallow your own pride with a side of chinese buffet.
If your behind is known as the "Moon that Launched ten thousand ships"
or if your farts are known as the "Safe Natural Gas that powered a hundred thousand homes"
If you ate your SE4 Cd mistaking it for a mini pizza

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

You sit on your planet, and your *** folds over it. It disappears forever. All that's ever heard from it again is the oxygen escaping from the atmosphere. The fart killed everyone within three dimensions.

[Atrocities]

If you have ever had an entire forest planet deforested just supply you with enough TP for a single trip to the bathroom.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

TP?

If you are addressed as "Your Hungriest"

ROTFLMAO