(OT) Some advice for me / My Depression Thread / Thanks forumers

[tbontob]

Originally posted by Taera:
[QB]i dont know if anyone realy cares... QB]

Taera, you may want to take a look at this area.

It has to do with a sense of self-worth.

Some of us get our sense of self-worth from others. If they like us or if they care then we are worthy, of value and deserve to be liked/loved.

In such a case, we are dependent upon others for our sense of worth and well-being.

You may also wish to examine your definition of "caring".

Please do not take the following examples as an attempt to fit you into one of them. They are given by way of explanation only. I often get into trouble when I give examples and they are taken personally.

Some people define it as "listening when I am in real trouble". By this definition, we will find someone who will listen and feel that people care.

If we define it as "listening to me ad nausia", well, there are fewer people willing to do this.

If we define it as "listening to me on demand whenever I want it and have to listen it to ad nausia", we would be very fortunate to find such a person.

And we are in real trouble if we expect most or all people to exhibit the level of care we want.

But it may not be listening at all. It may be something else which you feel falls short of the standard of caring which is expected.

Whatever the standard, it does need to be examined if you feel uncared.

On a somewhat similiar vein, but taking it from the perspective of the care-giver, some of us buy the care we want. So we shower the person with gifts, take them to restaurants etc.

Both parties need to examine the basis of their sense of worth/value.

I saw a poster once. "God loves me because he don't make no junk!"

If we can accept that we are worthy and loveable for all our warts, mistakes, errors and indiscretions, then we will have a sense of worth that transcends all that happens around us.

And this applies to criminals who by societal standards make the most serious mistakes.

Some people go though their whole life without examining this question. Those who do, often find it is a lifetime journey.