MP Game - Newbie Game (by Aku)

[The Panther]

Greetings to all from the Pythium News Network.

It is a sad day that we report from the front lines. The Great and Holy Smaug hangs his head in grave defeat. He was blindsided by a lying, swindling devil who issued false proclamations. The Great Smaug barely managed to retreat from a glorious battle. I have even heard that he is now mute in addition to his other wounds.

"NO!! Say it ain't so!"
"Sorry, but this is true."

Yes, it is a sad day in land of Pythium. Even though the message from Aku, God of the devils of Abysia, was signed in blood and sealed properly, the message content was most false. And we must also report that the great and wonderful Pythium Empire did believe the false message.

"But sir! Why did you believe the unholy nation of Abysia? They are devils!"
"Yes, but our greedy Minister of War thought we could change the holy orders from Smaug and cut off the retreat path of the losing army of Caelum after an easy castle seige. All it would have done was hasten the demise of Caelum by maybe one or two months. But now, Caelum may survive for a bit longer due to the treacherous words from Aku. Of course, the evil empire of Caelum will die quite soon regardless."
"Greedy, you say?"
"Yes, greedy. Smaug, being a great and noble commander, knew that one should not split his forces in the presence of an enemy, even if that enemy promised not to attack. However, our former Minister of War has paid the ultimate price for his miscalculation. His body has been separated from his head."

And we of the Great Empire of Pythium must now decree that the evil leader Aku can never again be believed. Once any future message has been received, it must be burned immediately.

So let this be a warning to all other nations who may have hopes of surviving in the Land of Karan. The evil, devilish empire of Abysia, controlled by the false pretender of Aku, cannot be trusted henceforth. Any future Messages from that false god must be examined carefully and only partially believed at best.

"But sir, can you give him another chance to prove his trustworthiness?"
"Doubtful. Perhaps he could apologize for his devilish deed and send the healing chalice for enough time to cure poor old mute Smaug. And maybe some gold to pay for the rebuilding of the Pythium army."
"Will he do that?"
"Maybe. I doubt he will, though, for an evil person rarely can change their ways."


So, while Smaug limps home mute in shame, the battle goes on. At least the glorious and completely trustworthy underwater nation of R'lyeh has managed to convince the evil air queens to join the side of right. They can no longer be considered evil, now that they follow the fishes.

Cheers! All hail Pickles, pretender of R'lyeh! Hip hip horray!


And so ends another installment from the only true source of real news in the land of Karan.

"But sir, didn't I also hear..."
(A scream is heard, followed by total silence)