You Might Be A Fat Emperor If:

[AgentZero]

You have smaller fat emperors orbiting around you...
While aboard an orbital space station, you influence the tides...
When you step on the scale, it says 'To be continued...'
Your Empire's tailors have had to change 'One Size Fits All' to 'One Size Fits Most...'
You take your Royal Imperial Cloak the the cleaners and they tell you they don't do curtains...
Your Royal Imperial shoes need license plates...
McDonalds has to change their signs every time you eat there...
Your portrait has to be painted from orbit...
You go to sleep in a field outside your palace, and when you wake up, you've been zoned for commercial developement...
Everytime you turn around your subjects have a Welcome Back celebration....

And finally,
After a trip to Rigelon IV, you are diagnosed with an incurable flesh-eating disease... And the doctors give you 37 years to live.